Alex Bowden

Jacks of all trades

'Misbah was like a violinist in a crashing stock market'

'Congrats on reaching 100 biscuits at lunch today'

'A quality leave outside off stump is sexier with a big bat'

'Completely forgot to be ill after yesterday's chicken handling'

'Time for smart humans instead of smart phones'

'I've never had a better coffee'

'Brendon McCullum must bat with an eye patch'

'Smile while you still have teeth'

'Scary, scary times!'

'Just had a reggae reggae chicken pasty as a desperation snack'

'What day is it? Where am I?'

'I am watching so better make it worthwhile'

'I've been dropped for my 59-year-old dad again!'

'Reading some horror stories about social media'

'Selfies might be the new opium'

'Getting a little frustrated just imagining owning an iPhone 7'

'Hip-hop music in a Miami cab. Welcome to the States'

'Does anybody want six tyres?'

'Just used hair gel as face moisturiser'