The Heavy Ball

'Patience is not merely waiting'

Philosophical gems, the delights of long-term parking, and more, in this week's Twitter picks

Sreesanth rues what might have been if he had a full complement of toes  Getty Images

The arrival
How are the West Indies preparing for their tour of England?
"Jumpers on, lip balm on, hoodie on...Team Windies getting acclimatized to England..Wi All In..."
@darrensammy88

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If you're in England right now, you'll know that's optimistic. No thermal underwear? No hand warmers? No anorak or waterproof trousers? Naïve.

The attire
"When did compression garments become acceptable casual/walking the dog wear?"
@eddiecowan

The physique
"Going to eat my body weight in pick & mix tonight...so that'll be 3 fried eggs,2 cola bottles and few midget gems."
@BunnyOnions (Graham Onions)

The garnish
"Seriously? Haddock with parsley... #pointlessherbs"
@JasonRoy20

The world's gone mad, Jason. You should compose a strongly worded letter.

The retirement
Glenn McGrath hasn't got any Test matches or IPL to prepare for any more. What's filling up his diary instead?
"It's a beautiful day here in Rockhampton, they're predicting the temp. to be 27. Looking forward to the start of Beef Week."
@glennmcgrath11
Presumably that's the food and not some sort of annual Ian Botham festival.

The physiology
"Got to get 2 surgery (on both my toes) will be out of the game for 5 months..hopefully will try to get back soon.. Take care..thanks a lot"
@sreesanth36
Both your toes, Sreesanth? All two of them?

The visa issue
"Well that's a first! Being deported from England.. Surely nothing else can go wrong can it?!?! #ffsake!"
@mstarc56 (Mitchell Starc)
Actually Mitch, deportation from England has happened before. To Australia. Rather famously.

He was forced to travel to Australia and then almost immediately hopped on a plane to come back again. Good luck, Mitch. Hope you're making some contribution to a carbon offsetting scheme to negate your size 15 carbon footprint.

The insight
"Big game tonight. A must-win for us."
@ashwinravi99 (R Ashwin)
Chennai Super Kings did win. Sadly, Ashwin never revealed what this meant to him.

The job application
"@piersmorgan If the New York T20 team need a middle order nurdler, you know who to call."
@Colly622 (Paul Collingwood)
Shivnarine Chanderpaul? Ashwell Prince? Oh, wait, you mean yourself don't you Paul? How about all three? That would be nurdling gold - Twenty20 at its best.

The street cred
Roaming the world, playing Twenty20 - does Herschelle Gibbs ever get homesick? Does he miss South Africa?
"Hows the michael buble concerts been back home folks"
@hershybru
Most of us would be glad to be away.

What's your philosophy?
"Patience is not merely waiting, it is how you act while you are waiting!"
@7polly7 (Shaun Pollock)

Getting to know God
"Went to waterstones grill restaurant opposite Leela near sahar airport.The food was amazing n the hospitality was unbelievable!!!"
@sachin_rt
All those exclamation marks - is he hinting at something more?

Tino Best's modesty corner
"I'm just like Justin Bieber.I don't have talent,I'm just ridiculously GOOD LOOKING that's why I'm popular ☺...lol"
@tinobest

Life lessons from cricketers
"Really enjoying the efficiency of long stay parking.#edinburgh"
@Jwd_16 (Jade Dernbach)

Sachin TendulkarMitchell StarcJason RoyDaren SammyShaun PollockHerschelle GibbsSreesanthRavichandran AshwinGraham OnionsJade DernbachGlenn McGrathEd CowanTino Best

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket