'Gonna dream about line and length and nothing else'

The performance
The bench is cooling and Scott Styris wants Stephen Fleming to know about it.

"Can someone tell @SPFleming7 that I top scored AND opened the bowling today"
@scottbystyris

Fleming wasn't enormously impressed.

"well played @scottbstyris u r just like a fine wine! u lay around day after day until someone finally gives you a chance and Kapow...corked!"

The knowing hypocrisy
Graeme Swann had strong feelings about Ukraine v France being rained off for a period of time.

"Am I hearing things right? The football delayed for rain? Why kind of sport stops for the rain?! Big girls blouses if you ask me."
@Swannyg66

The South African upbringing
Steven Finn got to watch the football with Craig Kieswetter.

"We're still trying to convince @kiesy_22 its not illegal to pass the ball forward in football."
@finnysteve

To be fair to Kieswetter, several of England's footballers also appear unaware of this.

The tease
Virat Kohli promised a lot.

"Looks like an exciting day ahead."
@imkohli

But he hasn't updated since. How did this potentially exciting day pan out? Could it be that when people are genuinely having an exciting time, they don't take to Twitter to tell us all about it? Surely not.

Take David Warner, for example.

"At dinner with all the team, great fun. Love mexican food!!"
@davidwarner31

Having the time of his life. He wasn't obliged to attend. Absolutely not. No way. That certainly wasn't the reason why Michael Clarke paid for the meal shortly afterwards.

The garnish
Alex Hales' meal was less exciting. He was sticking to soft food, but alas, it was to no avail.

"Bit of my tooth has just fallen out into my mushrooms on toast.. Probably time to book the dentist! #2.30"
@AlexHales1

The class treachery
Meanwhile, Rob Key's children are developing expensive tastes.

"Went to Bluewater earlier to be embarrassed by my kids having a tantrum saying "we want sushi not Jamie's Italian. #poshkids"
@robkey612

When I was a child, fish didn't come raw. It came breadcrumbed in "finger" format.

The seam attack
Speaking of expensive tastes, Michael Vaughan will perhaps be spending a little more on his tailoring after he had an emergency jacket-round-the-waist situation.

"New trousers required... Bent over on the train and my A##e‬ is now on show!!!! Hope they sell black trousers at the station!!!!"
@VaughanCricket

The hirsute
Andre Adams has made a style decision of his own.

"The fro has to go."
@AndreAdams

The sympathy
James Anderson was quickly on the scene when Ian Bell was hit on the chin in the nets, sustaining a deep wound which required ten stitches.

"Instead of rushing to get help when Belly got hit on the chin today, we took pictures...#teammates"
@JimmyAnderson9

The dream
Yorkshire's Moin Ashraf had plans this week.

"Early night tonight, tweeps. Gonna dream about line and length and nothing else."
@OfficialMoinA23

But is he living the dream? That's the question.

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Tough times don't last ,tough people do #forevergoinghard ...have a bless day twitter family #GODBLESS...."
@tinobest

Now technically Tino didn't claim to be tough himself in that tweet. However, based on past evidence, we can safely infer it.

What's your philosophy?
We should just call this section "What's Shaun Pollock's philosophy?" The man should start making those trite calendars people have in offices.

"In our society we are drowning in information but we seem to be starved of knowledge!"
@7polly7

Thanks for the information, Shaun.

Let's give someone else a go. Manoj Tiwary?

"It is better to be hated for what you are then to be loved for what you are not !!!"
@tiwarymanoj

Not sure this one stacks up, Manoj. For example, is it really better to be hated for being a person who was responsible for wartime atrocities than it is to be loved for not being selfish?