'Sorry London for my mum's escalator positioning'

The parody
It has been reported that Kevin Pietersen thinks that one of his team-mates is responsible for the parody account "KP Genius", @KevPietersen24

The person responsible disagrees.

"It doesn't take that woman from "Murder she wrote" to work out that this isn't a team mate of KP. I've been tweeting during Tests!"

Maybe that's why the bowlers go off so frequently when they're supposed to be fielding.

The mockery
To be honest, England players are usually a bit more upfront with their mickey-taking anyway.

"Great to see the show ponies turning it on in the dressage today. Still think @MattPrior13 has them covered though #showpone"
Graeme Swann @Swannyg66

Prior resisted the temptation to call a press conference.

"@Swannyg66 definitely winning gold in that event and very proud. Bell won't be happy with silver though? U just sneak in with bronze!"
@MattPrior13

The knowledge
New South Wales batsman Ben Rohrer has been chatting to Doug Bollinger.

"Me: is the pope catholic, Doug: I don't know, is he??? #douggiefacts"
@Rohrs99

Some of Rohrer's other updates make it clear that Doug almost certainly wasn't joking.

The London underground protocol
Stuart Broad has been travelling with his mum.

"Sorry London for my Mum's escalator positioning. She's from the countryside, she doesn't realise people are in a rush down here..."
@StuartBroad8

Tino Best's modesty corner
Tino's in town.

"Hope everyone is prepare for the storm hitting Bdos stay safe and GOD bless"
@tinobest

Oh, wait. I just checked and it turns out he was talking about an actual storm. It's not just a new nickname he's given himself.

What's your philosophy?
Lonwabo Tsotsobe isn't in South Africa's Test team at the minute.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Nite all."
@LonwaboTsotsobe

Not sure that's the official Proteas philosophy there, Lonwabo. Admirable though it is, you might not get too many games if that's your attitude.

And how about you? What's your philosophy?
Harbhajan Singh is another currently spending time on the international sidelines.

"Just a little more than your best makes you better than the best."
@harbhajan_singh

So what you're saying is that we should lower our ambitions? No matter how bad we are at something, we should only ever aim to be fractionally better than that, and when we achieve this, we should pat ourselves on the back for being "the best". Sounds like a recipe for complacency to me. Also, is this advice really applicable to your situation, Harbhajan? Rather than going for personal bests, shouldn't you be aiming to be just a little bit better than Ravichandran Ashwin?

Nando's Watch
There was a lot of treachery last week with cricketers going to all sorts of different restaurants. Looks like we're back to normal now, though, according to Riki Wessels of Nottinghamshire.

"Game of cricket followed by your standard dinner at nandos with the lads"
@RikiWessels

Not really putting the hours in, though, are you, Riki? Not like Jason Roy of Surrey.

"Well @Nandos_Official its going to have to be two nights in a row...could be every night this week to be honest #durhamnandos"
@JasonRoy20

Jason only really falls down in failing to "destroy" his food. Charl Willoughby of Essex managed to get a bit closer in that regard.

"Seems like a few cricketers hurting Nandos tonight. Myself and @smithyg83 included!"
@charlwilloughby

Nearly there, nearly there. Anyone else? Craig Kieswetter of Somerset, perhaps?

"Destroying Nandos at the moment!! #chicken"
@kiesy_22

Textbook.