The Heavy Ball

'Do you think I should cut my hair?'

Do you? Go on, tell Chris Gayle what you think

And you might as well let him know about the sunglasses as well  Bangladesh Cricket Board

The tired old story that doesn't amount to anything
All it takes is a single tweet from Shane Warne.

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"Feel like jumping of the couch grabbing the ball and having a bowl for Australia against the South Africans, seriously getting frustrated..."
@warne888

Is he hinting at something? Could he? Could he really? The questions were asked. The articles were written. But perhaps people are a bit too eager to latch onto the Shane Warne comeback story.

"Clarification guys & thankyou for the kind words, but... I was asked 'could' I play not 'would' I play..yes, I could..didn't say I would !"

Ooh, nice bit of pedantry there, Shane. You're so devilishly cunning, outwitting a media that has precisely zero interest in any information which might undermine an easy headline.

The fortune teller
Nottinghamshire's Riki Wessels made a prediction.

"Yuvraj is on 30 and opening up. Time to chip it to point"
@RikiWessels

Well, actually, he chipped it to cover on 32, so the joke's on you.

The masochist
Mitchell Marsh has an unusual request.

"Anyone got video of me getting hit in the family jewels last year playing for the @ScorchersBBL ? Talk about pain."
@mitchmarsh235

Always nice to have a memento.

The bet
Graeme Swann seemed to enjoy the races.

"Cracking afternoon at Calcutta races. Bres' face when the tote man returned apologising for not getting his winning bet on in time was magic"
@Swannyg66

Bresnan was less impressed.

"@Swannyg66 I think it was the fact that he managed to get your bet on that vexed me more.And still asked for a tip and autograph. The cheek!"
@timbresnan

The punchline
Murali Kartik's got a joke for us.

"Big Ques-when u wait for a "waiter" at a restuarent aren't u a waiter"...lol"
@kartikmurali

Bit optimistic with the "lol" there.

The non-swimmers
Chris Gayle.

"Wish I could swim."
@henrygayle

Mitchell Marsh.

"Early morning pool session before a day with @ScorchersBBL boys! I swim like a rock."
@mitchmarsh235

And Trent Copeland.

"@mitchmarsh235 @scorchersbbl me too. I must have missed the buoyancy lessons as a kid!"
@copes9

The collapse
Damien Fleming predicted it.

"I knew it would happen at some stage South Africa are collapsing due to scoreboard pressure losing 3 quick wickets Only 601 ahead #ausvsa"
@bowlologist

Chris Gayle's modesty corner
Move aside, Tino Best.

"Do you think I should cut my hair? Regardless I know I will still look ever so charming and Sweet Azz!! But your thoughts?"
@henrygayle

What's your philosophy?
Nikita Miller unexpectedly elbows Shaun Pollock aside to tell us…

"There is nothing perfect about beauty, when u perfect beauty you sacrifice charm."
@nktmiller

Chris Gayle probably doesn't agree.

The film review
Has Michael Bevan got any insights after seeing Skyfall?

"Skyfall last night, good flick -came alive in the second half. Preferred Casino Royale!"
@mbevan12

Not really.

The other film review
Alex Hales watched Twilight.

"Twilight was pointless!! Not bad entertainment.. But barely anything happened?! The main bit of the film didn't even happen!"
@AlexHales1

Should it have been longer maybe?

"The entire film could have been narrowed down to 10 minutes"

Nando's Watch
Hales therefore sought comfort in familiar surroundings. It was only last week that he was claiming he hadn't been in months. A likely story.

"Just in nandos in a hoody tracky b's and a cap. Theres a few Uni of Nottingham students lookin at me like Im about to steal their car! #rah"
@AlexHales1

Trent CopelandMitchell MarshNikita MillerChris GayleMurali KartikRiki WesselsTim BresnanMichael BevanGraeme SwannShane WarneDamien FlemingAlex Hales

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket