Are Australia too nice?

So farewell Australia, parting such sweet sorrow for the English that their defeat headlined the sports news on radio stations all morning. Is it wishful thinking to recall the hideous start they had to their 2005 Ashes tour - the Twenty20 loss to England and then in a one-dayer to Bangladesh - and feel that history is repeating itself?

Quite probably yes. But when watching them against Sri Lanka, something didn't feel quite right. The sense of intimidation that used to ooze out from every sinew wasn't there. That something about them that made you afraid to run and boil the kettle in case they played another ace had gone. Ricky Ponting strode around manfully, but he looked a little lost, perhaps even a little weedy. Without the long-gone Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, and with Andrew Symonds risking swine flu on the Gold Coast, Australia just didn't have their bovver boots on.

Brett Lee is too smiley, Nathan Bracken too angular… and I'm sure Merv Hughes would have marched up to the organisers and demanded a less tough draw. Could this team be just too nice? Still, they've two weeks to toughen up in Leicester.

And actually, Ricky, hands off Leicester. It is not the most lovely, nor the most glamorous city, but that lack of pretension hides a rich cultural life and is England's greatest example of successful multi-culturalism. Even Australians are embraced - if they lose gracefully enough.

After three years at university there in the early nineties I can vouch for all manner of entertainments that would suit a group of friends with time to kill.

Our regular curry house, which dished up simultaneously poppodoms, onion bhajjis, an unidentified-vegetable curry, and a dish of vanilla ice-cream, all for £2.95, was closed by health and safety. But Australia will find beautiful food in the Golden Mile on Belgrave Road, perhaps after watching a gig and sinking a pint at the Princess Charlotte pub. A day out at Alton Towers would raise the spirits, and at this time of year they should be able to gatecrash a student ball or two. It's nearly enough to make Symonds jealous.

And David Attenborough grew up on the University Campus - you can't get better than that.

Perhaps he could identify just what breed of rhino the South Africans are trying to emulate as they muscle up. It is like watching a green herd on the charge as they advance onto the field. I'm worried Jacques Kallis is going to get his arms stuck as they try to pass his torso soon. Maybe think about laying off the the gym, boys?