'Don't you know who I am?'

Bye bye country, hello money
Retirements have come thick and fast this year as players free themselves to sign up for the ICL (which could stand for the International Cricketers-no-more League) and the IPL (perhaps the Inflated Paycheques League). This week Brad Hogg handed in his notice with Australia and Jason Gillespie retired, while New Zealand terminated Lou Vincent's contract because he had signed with the ICL, which made him the latest to secure cash over country.

Night Ryder
So the last thing New Zealand needed was for Jesse Ryder to punch a window in a local bar at 5.30am. The news immediately brought to mind Nottinghamshire's Will Jefferson, formerly of Essex, whose county season was dented when he also cut his tendons on a window - but that was a freak accident and there the similarities ended. Ryder added insult to injury when he allegedly shouted at the poor nurses at the hospital where he was taken: "Don't you know who I am? I'm New Zealand cricket." Rather, he was ... and briefly at that. He's not going to be back for at least three months.

Burn out
But back to the Indian leagues. The topic of burnout seems to be on the backburner, now there are great swathes of cash to be earned. But not so for the physios and trainers - India's trainer Greg King has quit the national side citing job fatigue. He has called for a rotation system as he's not had a real break for four-and-a-half years. Then again, he's not immune to the lure of the cash, either - he will help the IPL's Chennai. He has finally put his foot down on the holiday front, though: he will join the Chennai Super Kings late as he is getting married.

How Gollum can help Brett
The same technology that assisted The Lord of the Rings' Gollum in terrorising hobbits has been used to help Brett Lee break bad habits. Scientists at Deakin University made Lee don a suit covered in Velcro dots, and then, using infra-red cameras, translated his action into stick movements. The same technology helped animate Gollum in the movies. Results showed Lee had too much shoulder movement in his run-up. Gollum's action is perfect.

Back with a bang
It's one way to announce you're back: make a double-century in a record-breaking opening stand with your captain. Neil McKenzie, who had made only 54 runs in two Tests since being recalled to South Africa's Test side this year after being dropped four years ago, made 226 (and Graeme Smith 232) in a record stand of 415 against Bangladesh in Chittagong.

Plenty plenty tons of runs
Speaking of records, last week we had one of the lowest team scores, featuring one of the associates. Now here's a player putting his side on the map for the right reasons. In a world first, Singapore batsman Sagar Kulkarni made a double-century from 51 balls ... in a Twenty20 match for Marina Cricket Club against the Singapore Pakistan Cricket Association. He made 219 and his team put on 363 for 3. Kulkarni wasn't even the opener, coming to the crease in the third over.

Death of an idea?
Plans to rename Victoria's Junction Oval have hit a dead end, almost literally. St Kilda wanted to name the ground after Shane Warne, but an unwritten rule for the area suggests that local personalities usually have to be dead before being honoured. The move was unpopular with history groups but the club said they would continue to lobby for the change.

Quotehanger
"I am sick of political correctness. Someone asked Hayden what he thought of Harbhajan and he gave his view. Aren't you allowed to give an opinion any more?''
Jeff Thomson weighs in on the "obnoxious weed" furore

Quotehanger II
"I've seen him spray it worse than that, so I'd suggest it was quite a good start for him."
Michael Vaughan on Steve Harmison after his fast bowler opened his New Zealand tour with four wides and two sets of four byes