In the third Australia v England post, we crow about / pick over the ruins of England’s first innings at Brisbane. Jarrod will bowl first, appropriately enough…
Jarrod Kimber says I’d heard a lot about NuEngland. A team so professional that it was impossible for them to fail. Toilet breaks were sorted into groups and then analysed by a backroom staff of thousands. Nothing could go wrong. This was the team that would finally end the torture in Australia.
And then I see them at the Gabba.
Ian Bell saved them. Ian Bell, the little ginger guy who hides behind his hat when talking to the media. Straussy did a Harmy, only with the bat. KP tried to get out to left-arm spin. Colly forgot to bring his shovel out with him. Prior and Broad just gave Siddle a birthday present.
As rubbish as England were in the 90s (that’s really pretty rubbish), if they sent out the worst English side from that period (it would probably be a tough decision) they’d have made at least 270 today at the Gabba. I was hoping for a contest. Now I’ll just have to enjoy the Brisbane weather.
Alan Tyers says Well, I can put up with a lot. But to compare this side, dreadfully though they may have batted on day one at Brisbane, to the mid-1990s shower… there is a limit. I imagine that Andrew Strauss’s team will pursue a class action libel lawsuit against Mr Kimber, and I for one hope they win. Nobody should be compared to Hicky and company without serious thought for the impact it could have on their families
England can take heart from two things, I guess. Firstly: aside from Peter Siddle, Australia’s bowling was pretty useless. Mitch was his statutory waste of eight pints of blood, Ben Hilfenhaus looked tame. And Xavier Doherty couldn’t even get Kevin Pietersen out.
Secondly, Australia got lucky. Until Siddle’s titanic efforts, they had been reduced to bowling wide of the stumps and hoping for mistakes. Okay, England obliged. But maybe they can learn from their mistakes. Birthday hat-tricks aside, this is still a very moderate Aussie team, and England cannot bat as badly again.
Jarrod replies “Lucky,” Tyers says? There was no luck about it, this was all in the plan. The Aussies have spent months working on their “short outside of off” plan to Strauss. And if you think Watson bowling a straight one was luck, then you just don’t know cricket. The only luck Australia had was the fact that the state of Victoria happens to be on their island.
Alan replies I dunno about this. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day, and I reckon these solid-but-unspectacular seam attacks have a couple of excellent spells per series in them each, max. Sure, day one at Brisbane was Australia’s, but how many more top bowling performances have they got to come? England might have felt like they lost the series on day one, but they shouldn’t – and neither did Australia win it. As for Victoria, I expect Jarrod just likes the place because is named after one of Australia’s previous monarchs…