Tedium in coloured clothing

The first two one-day internationals of the post-Twenty20 era were not resounding successes. England were thumped in Dambulla by Sri Lanka; India were routed by Australia at Kochi. Alas, it's nothing new. The greatest drawback in the 50-over format is that one-sided matches can be stultifyingly boring, as demonstrated by the XI humdingers listed below:

England v India, World Cup, 1975
One-day cricket arrived on the global stage in June 1975 with the first World Cup. The setting for the first televised match was perfect, a near full house with Lord's bathed in sunshine. England rattled up 334 for 6, a daunting score for the time, and the crowd anticipated a run-chase from India's strong batting line-up. What they got was almost four hours of tedium as Sunil Gavaskar undertook the game's most public net practice, crawling to 36 not out in 60 overs as India, booed by their own supporters, made no attempt to go for runs and ended on 136 for 3.

Australia v Pakistan, World Cup final, 1999
Spectators were left with a hollow feeling as the ICC's much-proclaimed carnival of cricket final produced four-and-a-half hours worth of cricket and under 60 overs - it was half the number of the first final in 1975 and almost six hours shorter. Pakistan offered little fight, subsiding for 132 and Australia knocked off the runs in one ball over 20 overs. By then few cared as the result was a foregone conclusion. Not only was the match dire but many of the crowd were disinterested neutrals who had had to buy tickets months earlier - some sold to touts who were offered a pair for £5000 - while the pavilion was embarrassingly empty as MCC members rebelled at being asked to pay £100 for a seat which, in effect, they had already paid for through their membership. All in all a great advertisement for the game.

West Indies v Zimbabwe, 2006
Not just a match, but an entire series. Zimbabwe, mauled by defections and internal disputes, approached the seven-match series in the Caribbean with the attitude that they might not win any games but they were not going to be bowled out either. They only once passed 200 - and that in a game they still lost by 82 runs - and were really only ever in with a sniff in the series opener. West Indies averaged 5.28 runs an over, Zimbabwe 3.64. Even the TV commentators had had enough by the fifth match, openly railing against the pointlessness of matches where one side had no intention of trying to win. The public voted with their feet.

Netherlands v Sri Lanka, 2006
The match that the world forgot. There was no TV or radio coverage, no journalists from Sri Lanka could be bothered to turn up, and barely any spectators were at Amstelveen to watch Sri Lanka smash a record 443 for 9. Netherlands opted for a solid response rather than attempting a chase and meandered to a meaningless 248 in 48.3 overs. The ICC had only just awarded the leading Associates full ODI status. Many wondered what the point was.

Afro-Asia Cup 2007
The tournament that mattered to few aside from the African and Asian associations - and a charity - who stood to make cash. In reality it was a weak South Africa side plus token representation from Zimbabwe and Kenya against a smattering of decent players from Asia. The three games favoured the batsmen. All three looked close on paper, but all three were done and dusted early on. Twice Shaun Pollock gave Africa a late charge, but you were left wondering just how close they would have got had the games mattered to anyone.

West Indies v South Africa, World Cup, 2007
The 37th fixture of an increasingly meaningless tournament. West Indies, the hosts, needed a win to have any hope of a semi-final slot, but South Africa had just been turned over by Bangladesh, so anything seemed possible. Instead the match was settled in the first innings by a freakishly brilliant innings from AB de Villiers, who was so crippled by cramp he had no choice but to slog (and connect with) everything. West Indies never threatened to come close as they batted out their 50 overs, not even when the No. 10 Daren Powell leathered 48 not out from 36 balls.

India v England, 2005-06
England's one-day cricketers were a rabble during their sorry seven-match slog across the subcontinent, and never threatened to put up a fight until the contest was well and truly over. This mid-series mauling summed up the inequality of the struggle. India powered to 294 thanks to Yuvraj Singh's 76-ball century, whereupon England slumped to 100 for 6 in the 26th over. Paul Collingwood ensured the surrender was not absolute with a gutsy 93, but it was a futile gesture. By the time England were finally bowled out with seven balls remaining, the margin was still a whopping 49 runs.

Australia v India, World Cup final, 2003
Another final, another damp squib - although at least this one was spectacular for the first 50.5 overs. Ricky Ponting's furiously accomplished century, with broken-fingered support from Damien Martyn, hoisted Australia to an unassailable total of 359 for 2. Only one man had any hope of getting India near that total - Sachin Tendulkar, the batsman of the tournament. But he picked the wrong ball to pull in Glenn McGrath's first over and top-edged a simple catch to the bowler, and the remaining 39 overs of India's innings were a long drawn-out Aussie coronation.

Australia v West Indies, World Cup, 1999
A total of 221 runs in 87.2 overs would constitute a slow day of Test cricket. For a one-day international - and a World Cup game to boot - it was nothing short of surreal. There were, however, mitigating circumstances. Australia's prospects had been dented by their defeats against New Zealand and Pakistan, and thanks to the tournament rules, their best hope of surviving the Super Sixes was to knock New Zealand out on net run-rate and progress alongside the vanquished West Indians. Glenn McGrath's 5 for 14 had put the result beyond any doubt, whereupon Michael Bevan and Steve Waugh contrived to score the last 19 runs in 13 overs. The victory was sealed with a no-ball, amid slow handclapping and catcalls. And West Indies still didn't qualify.

South Africa v Zimbabwe, 3rd ODI, 2006
Three matches earlier South Africa had rewritten the record books with their incredible run-chase of 438 against Australia at Johannesburg. They proved that such heights were no fluke by rattling along to another massive total of 418 for 5 here, thanks mainly to Mark Boucher's brutal 147 not out from 68 balls, but this time the interest and excitement was flatlining. The opponents were Zimbabwe, the venue the sleepy university town of Potchefstroom, and the margin of victory a whopping 171 runs. Zimbabwe dropped Boucher five times in the course of his innings, and then proceeded to bat out time, with Terry Duffin's 88 taking almost exactly twice as many balls as Boucher's blitzkrieg.

South Africa v India, 2006-07
India rather enjoyed their most recent trip to South Africa, culminating as it did with their World Twenty20 triumph. Ten months earlier, however, they didn't find the country quite so hospitable. They played four ODIs, after one washout, and were routed in the lot - only once, in the final game, did they manage to bat out their full quota of overs, and even then South Africa galloped to victory by nine wickets and with 18.4 overs to spare. "We haven't come to grips with the conditions," lamented India's coach, Greg Chappell. They did, however, pick up a consolation win ... a thrilling penultimate-ball victory in their maiden Twenty20 appearance. Proof, perhaps, that the shorter game doesn't always favour the better side. But in terms of entertainment, nothing topped it all tour.