'Royal baby named Stuart Broad until he walks!'

The apology
Graeme Swann felt sufficient shame to apologise to Chris Rogers after his hideous full toss resulted in a most bizarre lbw dismissal during the second Test.

"It seems like my newly unleashed mystery ball needs more work #filthypie #sorrybuck"
@Swannyg66

Dunno. It seemed to work quite well. Try it again.

The comedown
But it wasn't the only objectionable thing thrown up that week.

"Played in the ashes yesterday, found myself cleaning up cat sick today. Ace."
@Swannyg66

Bet that didn't bounce either.

The arrival
Mitchell Johnson's on Twitter!

"My first tweet and I'd like to say hi to my lovely wife and beautiful daughter :-)"
@MitchJohnson398

The thing about social media, Mitch, is that it enables you to communicate with people other than those you live with.

"Loving all the pommie love on Twitter! #whateverfloatsyourboat"

See.

The fear
Lonwabo Tsotsobe is in another dimension.

"A lot of people are afraid of heights why not be afraid of widths?"
@LonwaboTsotsobe

Because it's so much harder to feel the gravity of the situation.

The delivery
Things were better in R Ashwin's day.

"Gone are the days when you woke up and found the newspaper at your doorstep."
@ashwinravi99

It's tough having to go and get your own paper.

"I am talking only about the timings of paper delivery."
@ashwinravi99

Oh, sorry. It's tough having to wait for your paper to come to you.

The bad day
Damien Martyn's enjoying commentating on this Ashes series.

"The highlight of my day was getting stuck in the media centre lift for 30 minutes with @MichaelVaughan and crew ... #hot #bonded"
@dmartyn30

At least one Australian batsman was hanging about, not going down and not getting out.

The prune
Graeme Swann knows when it's time to get out.

"Spent hours lounging in a mates pool this afternoon. Would probably still be there but for my finger ends resembling nut sacks"
@Swannyg66

The voices
Kevin Pietersen's hearing things.

"You know that voice, inside your head that says, "you can't", is a LIAR!"
@KP24

What about the one that says, "You shouldn't"?

The tiff
Mitch Marsh was not at all happy with Tim Paine.

"@tdpaine36 extremely disappointed to see the lid on the ice cream open. Bit of respect for others would go a long way, Tim."
@mitchmarsh235

Paine pleaded innocence.

"@mitchmarsh235 1. It wasn't me. 2. Not sure ice cream is a great option for you."
@tdpaine36

Marsh was unimpressed.

"@tdpaine36 your a liar."

Or maybe he mistook Paine for the voice in his head.

The joke
Italy's coach, Joe Scuderi, will earn a few groans for this one.

"Royal baby has been named Stuart Broad until he walks !!"
@JoeScuderi1

Life with Kemar Roach
Few of us aren't envious of the lifestyle of a professional cricketer.

"Daily Chores!"
@KemarAJR

"First Snow Cone For The Year!"

"Just Cleaned My Apartment! #Tired"

What's your philosophy?
Shaun Pollock's stirred.

"Sometimes everything in your life has to be shaken so that the only thing that cannot be shaken, can stand!"
@7polly7

Nando's Watch
Alex Hales is doing his bit.

"Nandos on my own.... Tough times"
@AlexHales1

Smashwatch
It's not just food that gets smashed, according to Scott Styris.

"Just smashed my 7yr old daughter at Go Fish! It's been an hour and I'm still gloating! #badwinner #victory"
@scottbstyris

Apparently it's also seven-year-old daughters.