'Is it a sight screen or a side screen?'

Well obviously if you're Cabin Pietersen, the day starts with coffee.

After that, breakfast - the most important meal of the day.

It's probably not just that. He probably does some other stuff too.

For example, a lot of current and former cricketers keep themselves in peak physical condition by going for a run. They don't do it for fun, that's for certain.

Tino himself is not inclined to run, it seems. He'd rather walk.

Surely they're far more likely to try and find out more about your fabulous and unusually buoyant shoes?

Frozen water, however - that's easier to walk on. The county cricket season's underway.

What else is going on? Up in the north-east, it's date night - and apparently things are getting a little steamy.

Michael Vaughan is spurning rugs.

Graeme Swann isn't spurning rugs.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Neesham is transforming his life by learning all about some of the finer points of modern technology.

In-flight selfie time. Cabin Pietersen's not got to grips with things. He took an in-flight everyone-elsie.

This probably doesn't count as a selfie either. Ishant Sharma does have unusually long arms, but presumably not this long.

It's also on a bus.

Shane Watson did at least get the location right and also managed to get an elbow into shot, but you rather suspect it wasn't deliberate. Again, it's hard to argue that this is an in-flight selfie in the truest sense.

Can no one give us the pointless photograph we crave?

Well played, Virat. Not just the obligatory sunglasses, but also emojis confirming the form of transport were we in any doubt. Excellent work.