November 14, 2008

It could be a long short tour

Andy Zaltzman
Ian Bell looks to take guard at the nets session, Stanford 20/20 for 20, Antigua, October 31, 2008
 © AFP
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As I write, England and India have just embarked on a seven-match marathon of one-day internationals, as a prelude to an embarrassingly short two-match travesty of a Test series. England are struggling to restrain the Indian batsmen and emerge from their post-Stanford fug, and the mesmeric Virender Sehwag is again making it seem that there must be more than 360 degrees on his compass, and reminding the world how small a cricket ground can appear with the right man standing in the middle of it.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this series will be the two sides’ respective reactions to their recent performances. Will India be energised or satiated by their demolition of Australian invincibility? Will England be distracted and disjointed by their Stanford failure, or united and refocused?

England’s efforts in Antigua might be charitably described as pallid. From an English cricket supporter’s perspective, it is hard to see any discernible benefit from the Stanford extravaganza, unless you particularly enjoy seeing something you love thoroughly debased and humiliated. The Ashes are looming, and the next six weeks will play a major part in deciding whether England and their supporters begin the series with hope or confidence. At least fear should be off the menu in the post-Warne-McGrath-Gilchrist-Langer-and-Martyn era.

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

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Posted by Tim Singleton on (November 27, 2008, 21:23 GMT)

What a sentence!! As a long-time bugler I know what to expect, but the line about how small a cricket ground can look was priceless.

Posted by Ritesh on (November 26, 2008, 9:05 GMT)

Have recently started reading your blog. I like it for humor, analysis of the game and vocabulary ;-)

Yeah Elango, this article has little humor in it, but better than no article.

Posted by Elango on (November 19, 2008, 13:54 GMT)

Naahhh... that was very un-Andyish. There were atleast two sentences without a laff. C'mon Andy, this is regular journo stuff. Who cares if England is prepared or not? And, what's life without humour. Let it rip. All the time.

Posted by Nishant on (November 15, 2008, 16:50 GMT)

I think England has more hope of winning the ashes this time than ever before inspite of the thrashing they received on the hands of India in the first one day international, because a)Australia minus McGrath and Warne hardly strike fear, and I've noticed England are a much much better side at home than some of the other international teams (in the recent past and this is a qualitative statement on the way I've seen them play, rather than on any winning percentages)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Andy Zaltzman
Andy Zaltzman was born in obscurity in 1974. He has been a sporadically-acclaimed stand-up comedian since 1999, and has appeared regularly on BBC Radio 4. He is currently one half of TimesOnline's hit satirical podcast The Bugle, alongside John Oliver. Zaltzman's love of cricket outshone his aptitude for the game by a humiliating margin. He once scored 6 in 75 minutes in an Under-15 match, and failed to hit a six between the ages of 9 and 23. He would have been ideally suited to Tests, had not a congenital defect left him unable to play the game to anything above genuine village standard. He writes the Confectionery Stall blog on Cricinfo.

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