Sydney Test 2010-11 January 3, 2011

A new motto for Australia

Where are their players going to come from in future?
18

Alan Tyers writes Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Australia have got a fresh captain, but he’s following the Ponting method by showing the team just how it isn’t done with the bat. What has happened to this team? Michael Clarke looks like he shouldn’t be allowed near a cricket ground for his own safety, Shane Watson and Phil Hughes wrestled manfully with their own stoopidity for a while but eventually got themselves out.

The only bright spot for Australia was the performance of the debutant Usman Khawaja. He looks the part – some style, some composure – and there was no shame in being out-thought by Graeme Swann. At least he didn’t throw it away like his three more senior team-mates. I note that he was not born in Australia. Surely this is the way ahead for poor old Oz? The system within is busted, so they must recruit from without. All that wide open space, decent weather (although not today), as many sausages as you can eat, plenty of work available in daytime soap operas: it must be a tempting destination for migrant labourers. With a new PM, and a new captain, surely it is time for a new national motto: Foreigners of the world, give us your poor, your huddled masses – and let them come and bat in our middle order. No reasonable offer refused.

Jarrod Kimber Michael Clarke made a bold Australian decision to bat in overcast conditions, while the English were always going to take the soft option and bowl first. Clarke’s innings may not have been every inch a captain’s knock, but his fortitude in batting first on this pitch will surely be written in Ashes folklore. Instead of being protected, like in other teams, young Usman was taught about an honest day's work, batting in the hot seat on a tough pitch. He may have only made 37, but that 37 will be whispered about in years to come as people talk about how Australia’s resurrection started when bloody gutsy Usman was made a man by Michael Clarke’s bold captaincy.

Alan replies I think that in years to come we might well be watching Usman play Test cricket. Michael Clarke? Not so much. Come on, Australia, there is no shame in it. The world has changed. The future is bright: the future is foreign. Who knows, we might even have some spare English knocking around the place...

Jarrod replies We don’t need spare Englishmen. We’ll continue to steal from Pakistan, Poland, Portugal, Netherlands and wherever Shaun Tait is from, thank you very much. You’ll be seeing Michael Clarke around, his PR team is almost as hardworking as his tattoo artist.

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Hamed Ali on January 4, 2011, 11:31 GMT

    Usman Khawaja to replace Ricky Ponting.

  • JK on January 4, 2011, 10:52 GMT

    yea the pakis!!!!

  • Omar Hussain on January 4, 2011, 10:20 GMT

    Alan Tyler wht would you say of the South Africans playing for England.Australia are on the right road as far as equality is concerned.

  • S.I.D on January 4, 2011, 10:05 GMT

    Shamble of an article...and pale sense of humor

  • Krishnamurthy Sridhar on January 4, 2011, 9:27 GMT

    It is a vicious circle ebb and low and the Aussies have seen similar situation before Alan Border took over. Now the Team has their task cut out

  • Sadiq Shah on January 4, 2011, 9:23 GMT

    Well, I think Usman batted very well if we compare him to "present" Ponting. Usman played some glorious strokes showing his talent. He is from Pakistan but he is future for Oz middle order. Good Luck Usman. We are supporting Oz cz of you. Shah from Pakistan...

  • Dylan Tucker on January 4, 2011, 9:21 GMT

    Australia being accused of the team having to recruit overseas players? Hmmm.... maybe we could use some South Africans...

  • zubair on January 4, 2011, 8:16 GMT

    shame. felt sorry after the reading thoughts of the writer....

  • Sandeep on January 4, 2011, 7:35 GMT

    I dont know why dont they get Brad Hodge in the line up. He is by far the best batsmen on Australia.

    Also they can give chance to C White and C Ferguson

  • Santa on January 4, 2011, 7:32 GMT

    Alan should be reprimanded for using such derogatory and xenophobic remarks to describe immigrants. Is this a street bully in melbourne or a wisden author?

  • Hamed Ali on January 4, 2011, 11:31 GMT

    Usman Khawaja to replace Ricky Ponting.

  • JK on January 4, 2011, 10:52 GMT

    yea the pakis!!!!

  • Omar Hussain on January 4, 2011, 10:20 GMT

    Alan Tyler wht would you say of the South Africans playing for England.Australia are on the right road as far as equality is concerned.

  • S.I.D on January 4, 2011, 10:05 GMT

    Shamble of an article...and pale sense of humor

  • Krishnamurthy Sridhar on January 4, 2011, 9:27 GMT

    It is a vicious circle ebb and low and the Aussies have seen similar situation before Alan Border took over. Now the Team has their task cut out

  • Sadiq Shah on January 4, 2011, 9:23 GMT

    Well, I think Usman batted very well if we compare him to "present" Ponting. Usman played some glorious strokes showing his talent. He is from Pakistan but he is future for Oz middle order. Good Luck Usman. We are supporting Oz cz of you. Shah from Pakistan...

  • Dylan Tucker on January 4, 2011, 9:21 GMT

    Australia being accused of the team having to recruit overseas players? Hmmm.... maybe we could use some South Africans...

  • zubair on January 4, 2011, 8:16 GMT

    shame. felt sorry after the reading thoughts of the writer....

  • Sandeep on January 4, 2011, 7:35 GMT

    I dont know why dont they get Brad Hodge in the line up. He is by far the best batsmen on Australia.

    Also they can give chance to C White and C Ferguson

  • Santa on January 4, 2011, 7:32 GMT

    Alan should be reprimanded for using such derogatory and xenophobic remarks to describe immigrants. Is this a street bully in melbourne or a wisden author?

  • bibhu on January 4, 2011, 7:25 GMT

    this definitely is, by far, the best one from u guys . bravo. laughed out loud

  • Daniel on January 4, 2011, 7:23 GMT

    LMAO Alan, we're not that bad that we need to copy the English selection policies ;)

  • jason Voigt on January 4, 2011, 7:16 GMT

    Good piece of work gents1 Just one observation if you'll allow it...England 's success of the past has been based around a good policy of foreign recruitment..Heck half their side wasn't born there..And in case you worried about the Aus identity, let it be noted that the Aus rugby team has never been afraid to select foreigners..if locals aren't up to scratch make a plan..England have and look at them.. Cheers gents keep up the work

  • abhishikha on January 4, 2011, 6:48 GMT

    u guys are brilliant....!!!! love ur sarcasm....

  • Artie on January 4, 2011, 1:10 GMT

    Clarke will be around for a long time yet, he has a magic suit of armour, (otherwise known as a NSW Postcode) to protect him. The world should thank whatever god it worships that the great Don Bradman was born in NSW otherwise he would be just a footnote in Wisden, having failed in in his first Test way back in 1928. If he had lived in South Australia at that time we would never have heard of him again.

  • tc on January 3, 2011, 22:53 GMT

    is australia cricket the only story in the cricketing world ?come on@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@2

  • Rahul on January 3, 2011, 20:26 GMT

    Love this!! :) 2 thumbs up!

  • Paul Frestent on January 3, 2011, 18:10 GMT

    Spare Englishmen indeed! Since your "English" squad is made up of South Africans there will definately be some spare Poms............question is, does anybody want them?

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  • Paul Frestent on January 3, 2011, 18:10 GMT

    Spare Englishmen indeed! Since your "English" squad is made up of South Africans there will definately be some spare Poms............question is, does anybody want them?

  • Rahul on January 3, 2011, 20:26 GMT

    Love this!! :) 2 thumbs up!

  • tc on January 3, 2011, 22:53 GMT

    is australia cricket the only story in the cricketing world ?come on@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@2

  • Artie on January 4, 2011, 1:10 GMT

    Clarke will be around for a long time yet, he has a magic suit of armour, (otherwise known as a NSW Postcode) to protect him. The world should thank whatever god it worships that the great Don Bradman was born in NSW otherwise he would be just a footnote in Wisden, having failed in in his first Test way back in 1928. If he had lived in South Australia at that time we would never have heard of him again.

  • abhishikha on January 4, 2011, 6:48 GMT

    u guys are brilliant....!!!! love ur sarcasm....

  • jason Voigt on January 4, 2011, 7:16 GMT

    Good piece of work gents1 Just one observation if you'll allow it...England 's success of the past has been based around a good policy of foreign recruitment..Heck half their side wasn't born there..And in case you worried about the Aus identity, let it be noted that the Aus rugby team has never been afraid to select foreigners..if locals aren't up to scratch make a plan..England have and look at them.. Cheers gents keep up the work

  • Daniel on January 4, 2011, 7:23 GMT

    LMAO Alan, we're not that bad that we need to copy the English selection policies ;)

  • bibhu on January 4, 2011, 7:25 GMT

    this definitely is, by far, the best one from u guys . bravo. laughed out loud

  • Santa on January 4, 2011, 7:32 GMT

    Alan should be reprimanded for using such derogatory and xenophobic remarks to describe immigrants. Is this a street bully in melbourne or a wisden author?

  • Sandeep on January 4, 2011, 7:35 GMT

    I dont know why dont they get Brad Hodge in the line up. He is by far the best batsmen on Australia.

    Also they can give chance to C White and C Ferguson