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Bangladesh refuse to host India

Seven years from now, cricket's landscape could look very different

Samantha Pendergrast

Comments: 29 | Text size: A | A
Kane Williamson acknowledges his third Test century, Sri Lanka v New Zealand, 2nd Test, Colombo, 2nd day, November 26, 2012
By the age of 30, Williamson will have broken the hearts of a slew of pop divas but mended those of New Zealand cricket fans © Associated Press
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January 18, 2020: The Bangladesh board has rejected India's request for a one-off Test later this month because it wants to rest its players before the marquee series against New Zealand in February.

The BCCI said it was "disappointed" by the cancellation but hoped the tour could be rescheduled whenever the BCB found it convenient.

"Our players are all playing in the Dhaka leagues, so they have a good grasp of the local conditions," said a BCCI spokesperson. "So when the tour does take place, Bangladesh can expect a tough fight. We won't roll over easily this time."

For over a year now India have been struggling to find teams willing to play bilaterals with them. Their brief experiment of foregoing international cricket and only playing the IPL worked spectacularly in 2016, but interest in the tournament fizzled out when Shahrukh Khan chose to renounce the world and head to the Himalayas for a spot of meditation. Though he returned a month later, with severe sunburn and an encyclopaedic knowledge of snowfall patterns, viewers continued to shun the IPL, preferring instead to collect outside cricket stadiums and play their own matches in the parking lots.

Bangladesh have had a gruelling schedule over the last 12 months, and it's the tour of New Zealand that is expected to test their No. 1 ranking the most. The rivalry between the two sides dates back to the enthralling World Cup final of 2015, which New Zealand won by one wicket after Chris Martin hit a blistering 90 off 40 balls while suffering cramps, a broken hand, colour blindness, a willow allergy and a ticklish sensation in his ears.

The boards of the two countries signed record television rights deals right after their famous drawn series in 2015-16, and announced unprecedented profits.

But with the large amounts of money came problems. Apart from the two boards tearing up the Future Tours Programme, New Zealand took what many consider to be an unreasonable stance over the DRS, demanding spy satellites be used for ball-tracking and that only Nobel-prize winning physicists be allowed to predict the path of the ball.

The Indian board is close to bankruptcy, still fighting its players in court over whose responsibility it is to pay the excess-baggage charge the players racked up during their last tour of Bangladesh, where they bought pirated DVDs of the hit ficto-reality* show If You Cry Over Spilt Milk It Will Curdle.

Experts believe the balance of world cricket is under serious threat because of the superstardom achieved by New Zealand's players. Apart from their presence being crucial to the success of T20 leagues across the world, they are also in demand to host the Oscars, make appearances at birthday parties for millionaire babies, and pose for Playgirl centrefolds.

Last year New Zealand captain Kane Williamson arrived late for a tour of Australia so he could attend the Grammys to accept the Best Rock Song award for "We'll Never Eat Crowe", which he co-wrote with teen pop sensation Saul Wrötte.

Bangladesh are expected to announce their 15-man playing squad, 25-man support squad and three-woman yin-infusing squad on January 24.


Banglafan11#: Come on Tigers! Make pulp of Kiwi fruits

Tiger_Mahmud: Guys, it's not going to be that easy to beat New Zealand. We mustn't be over-confident. I hope coach Shakib is working on plans on how to dismiss Brendon McCullum. He was brilliant against India last month.

EnZedblessyou: God! BMac needs to retire, man, How long will he hold on to a place in the side based on his scores against minnow teams? He's keeping more deserving batsmen out.

ChampofIndia: @EnZedblessyou, excuse me, but who are you calling a minnow? India was the No. 1 Test side and won the World Cup in 2011, I'll have you know. Check your facts brother before saying rubbish about my team.

EnZedblessyou: @ChampofIndia, oh great one more irate India fan who can't help but hold to the brief glory that 2011 brought him. Snap out of it, mate, you guys are history

Pakcrackerjack2000: Guys, ignore the Indian loser. Obviously he'll live in past only when he and his board controlled world cricket and took advantage of the rest of us. How does it feel to be on the other side, champ?

Dravid_fan: Yes, it's like the cycle of life. India were financial leaders of world cricket just like England before them. Now the power base has shifted to Bangladesh and New Zealand. But don't make the mistakes England and India made. Be humble and understand your responsibilities. Cricket needs you to be magnanimous statesmen.

ShereBanglacric2: Shut it Dravid_fan. Leave the hand-wringing save-cricket-from-dying pleas for Cricinfo's writers to write about

*S Pendergrast holds a copyright over the concept of ficto-reality in television, where the live studio audience can interject at any point to change the storyline of the show.

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Comments: 29 
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Posted by Mondrita on (January 20, 2013, 13:06 GMT)

This is really funny, despite my being a Bangladesh fan. Keep up the writing.

Posted by Md. Fuad on (January 19, 2013, 13:04 GMT)

Those days are likely to come when Bangladesh will be one of the super powers in both ODI and Test cricket. I have seen the change of cricket infrastructure of Bangladesh in last ten years and the financial capability being risen up very high compared to what it was a few years ago. A few years ago BD was finding it difficult to create some wickets of international types on the major cricket venues but now, all the cricket venues have wickets of international types, more boys are taking cricket as a career and are all satisfied due to the secured future in cricket because even if the players don't get a chance in national teams, they can earn money by playing domestic crickets, and other cricket leagues organized by local private companies or multinational companies. So I think the next ten years will have the same pace of development which will bring much better players like Sakib Al Hasan, Mashrafe and Tamim Iqbal. Future seems to be good as it has been till now! :)

Posted by Fahmim on (January 19, 2013, 7:54 GMT)

Absolute gem! Samantha, be prepared for a grand red-carpet reception the next time you visit Dhaka :D

Just one awry prediction in your piece: The NZ series will actually be Shakib's last - as he decides to retire just after going beyond Muttiah's test record :D

Posted by D on (January 19, 2013, 5:22 GMT)

If Ishant Sharma is still bowling for India in 2020 this will be very real...

Posted by Sabiaah on (January 19, 2013, 4:47 GMT)

Awesome article...took several laughing break....however Shakib is not gonna be BD coach within 7 years....loved the comment sections....

Posted by MD.REZWANUL on (January 19, 2013, 3:18 GMT)

I think 2020 is huge time... might not be world best but definitely they will be Asia best

Posted by Dummy4 on (January 19, 2013, 1:17 GMT)

no matter if it's a good thing but my India is everwhere and I proud to be an Indian.

Posted by Vinod on (January 18, 2013, 23:02 GMT)

Hilarious!....enjoyed the read....Especially the comments section-captured the typical mindsets of bloggers especially the vitriol, crowing and one upmanship that is prevalent by many bloggers...any ways, keep it up Sam-funny as....!!!

Posted by Vivek on (January 18, 2013, 21:57 GMT)

Great article....but Sam, you forgot this! The BCCI's decision in 2018 to make Tendulkar the Player-Captain-Coach-Manager-BCCI President has failed dramatically. However,this didn't stop the little master from scoring his 102nd international century in September, breaking his drought of 5 years without scoring over 50 in test match cricket - which was, surprise surprise, another record.(Cue endless comparisons to God by Mumbaikers, Harsha Bhogle, Gavaskar, Sanjay Manjrekar, Rahul Dravid etc)

Posted by Rahul on (January 18, 2013, 21:48 GMT)

Such days will never come though

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