The Heavy Ball

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The week on Twitter

'Early morning movements'

Plenty of unwanted information in this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden

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Auckland Aces' Lou Vincent celebrates his century in the final of the New Zealand domestic one-day competition, Canterbury Wizards v Auckland Aces, Chirstchurch, February 13, 2011
Lou Vincent: a swimwear enthusiast © Getty Images

This week, the world's cricketers help us answer questions such as: "When is an abbreviation not an abbreviation?" and "How many breakfasts is it acceptable to eat in one day?" We also see a resurgence in interest in the sport's favourite chicken restaurant and learn a valuable lesson about road layouts. Never let it be said that you don't learn anything useful from this column.

The RAS syndrome (redundant acronym syndrome syndrome)
Scott Styris has been abbreviating.

"Is the DRS review system taking the sweep shot out of the game now with the likely hood that you're out if you miss?"

Umpires do seem increasingly happy to give batsmen out lbw before wicket.

The big plans
Stuart Broad woke to a tempting offer from a fellow fast bowler.

"'Text me when you wake up we'll have a game of crazy golf' @finnysteve. I tell you what, sometimes touring is pretty rock N roll..."

Bet he didn't get up until gone nine either.

The motion
Has Ramnaresh Sarwan got anything to share with us?

"Early movements!"

Hopefully you aren't sharing too much information there. To be on the safe side, don't mention anything like that ever again.

"Early morning movements."


The retirement
Lou Vincent has bowed out of cricket.

"1134 games 718.5 hotels 834 planes 57 teams 3 punch ups 1 proud career 5pm 18th Feb 2013 I'm pulling stumps. Thank you all x"

Anything else? Andre Adams has an addition.

"@louvincent78 Ardz said you forgot "1 Bombing" in your list of things done/seen in your career..."

And so does Scott Styris.

"'@AndreAdams: @louvincent78 Ardz said you forgot "1 Bombing" in your list of things done/seen in your career...' and a mankini"

The mankini was probably the final straw.

The comeback
Shoaib Malik had managed one Twitter update since November up until this week.

"Inshallah will try to use twitter often!"

That was February 15th. Nothing since.

The time zone
Graham Onions has been chasing breakfast round the globe en route to New Zealand.

"Me and @MattPrior13 have just experienced about 5 breakfasts in the space of 24 hours"

Sounds fantastic. Although do you now have to go four days without to compensate?

Life with Kemar Roach
As ever, it's all go in the land of capital letters and exclamation marks.

"Barber Time! #Phreshlook"

"Life Is Amazing!"

He provides a great insight into the world of professional sport.

What's your philosophy?
We've had too many weeks without Shaun Pollock recently.

"In life we all make too many excuses, and these excuses keep us deceived. Often an Excuse is a reason stuffed with a lie, strive for honesty"

Actually, on second thoughts, I preferred the wisdom of Manoj Tiwary. What can we learn from the man this week?

"2 increase d POWER of ur thoughts.. Decrease d NUMBER of ur thoughts !!! Brahmakumaris"

Think less. There's a sentiment we can all get behind.

"Wat looks like d end of d road is more often just a bend on d road.. Hav a great day ahaed frnds"

And deny the existence of cul de sacs. Again, practical advice we can all make use of.

"Winnin is not an act.. It's an ATTITUDE !!! Hav a winnin day"

Pretty sure winning is an act and pretty sure that second sentence doesn't really make sense.

Nando's Watch
Stories of a terminal decline in interest in Nando's may have been exaggerated. Turns out it may just have been that the UK's cricketers were hibernating.

Hampshire's Danny Briggs is stirring.

"A winter without Nando's until now... Can't wait! #lovenandos"

While Leicestershire's Josh Cobb is already up to speed, having headed to sunnier climes.

"Just smashed a nandos in Bangladesh. #realsizedchicken"

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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