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'Et tu?'

Julius Caesar was told to beware the ides of March. Here's a look at betrayals that could occur in cricket on March 15

Samantha Pendergrast

Comments: 4 | Text size: A | A
A dejected Mahela Jayawardene with Kumar Sangakkara, Sri Lanka v West Indies, final, World Twenty20, Colombo, October 7, 2012
"Yeah, I know you want a neck rub, but you're not getting it from me" © Getty Images

MS Dhoni decides to end his relationship with Chennai Super Kings due to irreconcilable differences. "Truth be told, I never warmed up to the yellow jersey," Dhoni says. "I tried everything, including shaving my head, but it just never looked good on me."

Butter chicken not on the menu in Mohali.

Mohammad Irfan admits he isn't really over seven feet tall, just that his hair is really voluminous.

Mike Hesson tells Ross Taylor that Hamish Rutherford is the best batsman of all time. Of all time.

Kumar Sangakkara does not telepathically understand everything Mahela Jayawardene tries to tell him. "There's someone else in his life, I'm sure of it," sobs Mahela.

Bangladesh's players agree to call themselves minnows to take advantage of the ICC's Targeted Assistance and Performance Programme aimed at developing more competitive teams at the highest level. Their fans decide to express their disgust at this decision by turning up to matches in Roman skirts.

Tino Best changes his last name to "Better". "I cannot tell a lie. I am a work in progress," says Tino. "I'd like to apologise to all my fans and all the rappers I inspired, especially Del the Funkee Homosapien, Shorty Shitstain and Kreayshawn."

Graeme Swann admits to using a stand-up comedian to write his tweets for him. "A humorous cricketer is a rarity these days. I just wanted to be noticed." And the Knowledgeable Chennai Crowd admits to using ESPNcricinfo's ball-by-ball commentary to acquaint itself with the game.

Mike Brearley's degree in people turns out to be forged. "I was just ridiculously lucky," says Brearley.

Virender Sehwag's new spectacles not prescribed by optometrist. "Everybody keeps saying I only 'see ball, hit ball', so I thought this way I could double-check the ball," says Sehwag.

MCC coaching manual used to prop up shaky tables at Lord's.

This Page 2 article does not mention You-Know-Who.

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Comments: 4 
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Posted by Dirk on (March 10, 2013, 17:32 GMT)

Kevin Pietersen closes Twitter account

His sign-off message reads:

"I never liked the 140-character limit. There is not enough room for all the nuances in my views, with the result I am misquoted and misunde"

Posted by Jonathan on (March 10, 2013, 17:19 GMT)

As for You-Know-Who, I was so sad that he got dropped from the NZ team before having a chance to overtake Courtney Walsh's overall record number of ducks...

Oh, did you mean *the other* You-Know-Who?

Posted by FaceOf on (March 10, 2013, 16:15 GMT)

Ha You-Know-Who is the best :)

Posted by kundan on (March 10, 2013, 11:51 GMT)

Fun read. You have still pleased the fans of You-Know-Who by mentioning "You-Know-Who" in place of You-Know-Who. I love You-Know-Who !

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