The Surfer

Swann’s character could really get under the skin of the Australians and if I was the England captain, I would give him full licence to be himself. He isn’t to everyone’s taste. If he is dictating terms, he will have a strut about him and that arrogance and cockiness will be obvious. In that state, he could disrupt Australia’s rhythm.

The emergent face of Australian cricket, at once dazzling and disorientating, stares out this month from the glossy front covers of two glamorous magazines. The first features the Australian vice-captain, Michael Clarke, resplendent in a pair of metallic denim jeans that look so ball-crushingly tight they would struggle to accommodate a stray Murray mint, let alone his protective equipment. The second shows Mitchell Johnson's girlfriend, Jessica Bratich, wearing significantly less apparel; a green and gold bikini emblazoned with the Southern Cross.

The most compelling individual sub-plot to the coming marathon is whether Flintoff still has it in him to be the wrecker of Aussie hopes. After four ankle operations, and one in his knee following an ill-starred cameo in the Indian Premier League, the imagination's dark parts see him carted out of this series on a stretcher. If he survives through to The Oval, he will haunt Australia's batsmen and bowlers through sheer force of personality as well as the brutish power of his physique.

Strauss is good and also has that cool exterior. What he has yet to prove is that he possesses more of those Vaughan-, Brearley- or Illingworth-like traits. To win this Ashes series he will have to be braver than he was in the Caribbean, where caution in Antigua and, with trickier equations involved, in Trinidad cost him the series. He did at least show us in that series that he can raise his own game in response to the demands of captaincy and if he can do that again over the next couple of months, a lot more will fall into place. It has long been a pet theory of mine - not exactly a mind-blowing one, I admit - that if your own game is in order all the decision-making becomes a lot easier.

3.) Headingley – 42.8%

The build up. Glenn McGrath's predictions, Shane Warne's mischievous teasing, the mental disintegration that was Steve Waugh's watchword, batsmen "targeted", the war of words, England keeping their counsel. Then the expectation of the opening day, all-too-often the tone set for the series in the first exchanges: Michael Slater's withering square cut at the Gabba, the twin English groans of disbelief there as Nasser Hussain blundered with the toss and Steve Harmison tried to knee cap his own mate at second slip in the following series. But there was Harmison four years ago hitting Justin Langer. "These blokes mean business," said the batsman as he received treatment for his bruised arm.

The key player for me was Simon Jones, who was even ahead of Kevin Pietersen in his importance to the side. We needed an attacking bowler who could get five wickets on a consistent basis, because Andrew Flintoff tended to hold up an end rather than rip through the opposition, Steve Harmison blew hot and cold and Matthew Hoggard was better against the left-handers than the right-handers.

The whole country seems determined to hark back to 2005. Maybe it's in our genes, the same genes that encouraged Lord Nelson to put the telescope to his blind eye so that he could ignore an order to retreat at the Battle of Copenhagen. Except Nelson had a strategy. This is just ignoring inconvenient truths.

We all know what happened on the pitch, of course, but what about afterwards? "Oh, Brears, Beefy and myself were dragged off to a press conference, and by the time we got back to the dressing-room everyone else had gone. They were going all over the country for Natwest Trophy second-round fixtures the next day. So Beefy and I had a pint together, and that was it. It wasn't until I was driving home and it was the lead story on [the Radio 4 news programme] PM, that the penny dropped as to what we had actually achieved."