The Surfer

So much has changed in his life in the last eight years: the mastery of the doosra, acclaim and ignominy, injury and insult — and now a new British passport. Monty Panesar should soon have competition.

The cricket failed to register a passing nod, never mind receive a proper bunk-up. It beggars belief, really. Imagine those Botham-Richards head-to-heads failing to make the radar. I think not. There are reasons for this that are not of the team's making, but they still have to take some of the rap.

There are many stories about cricket's calls of nature. Some players held out better than others. The popular Glamorgan left-hander Emrys Davies, according to a few Arms Park survivors, could rarely go through a session without the obligatory exit. We can only imagine the torment he went through during 7½ hours at the crease when he made 287 in Newport.

The developments in the West Indies, took us all by surprise. If memory serves me right, Dilip scored a double century - (212, was it?) - in the first Test and then followed it up with another in the second. He did with such resolute batting, showing no fear.

Looking back, Schofield, who was born in Rochdale, realises that he should have left Lancashire long before they let him go at the end of the 2004 season. His bowling had been going nowhere for some time and Lancashire were no longer interested in developing it. They had other spinners and the only way he could get in the side was as a batsman. In his last season he bowled just 26 overs in the championship but scored 99 against Warwickshire and 69 against Surrey as a No 6.

Even the Lancashire dressing room of my time was inhabited by half-a-dozen or so. Nick Speak, Graham Lloyd, Phil DeFreitas, Wasim Akram and Graeme Fowler all paid constant homage to nicotine. Early season Benson and Hedges games, when sponsors not only provided loot but product as well, produced a terrific scramble for those distinctive yellow bricks; even the non-smokers were known to hoard a packet or two to bargain with. How about a few half-volleys in the nets then, Daffy?

Cricket today provides India a feel-good space, where nearly all differences can be overcome. The assertion of an Indian ‘identity’, the expression of cultural nationalism or the feeling of a common emotion – these are no longer confined to the stadium and post-match activities. For instance, a poll conducted a few years back found that more than 50 percent of India’s youth would prefer to live in another country. However, as journalist Sandipan Deb has observed: “Even when they do go away to some other country, they have a live cricket scorecard open surreptitiously on their computer monitors throughout their working day, and they turn out in daunting numbers at the stadium whenever India’s playing in their adopted country.” The global Indian wants simultaneously to escape his country and to embrace it. Clearly, cricket is no longer a mere ‘national’ obsession.

Everything is going well. I working on on my routines well. My fitness level is high. I am bowling well and even played a game in which I bowled 17 overs. I am feeling very positive now. I cannot say anything more now. I'm waiting for things to happen. I just need to be patient.

This year, things have soured. Divine retribution may have been a long time coming, but the rain hasn't stopped. The ECB hired four extra Super Sopper machines but still the matches are called off. Counties face a torrent of refunds and an equally unattractive administrative mountain. Umpires have asked for more protection - Peter Willey has spoken of getting in "professional security". The Hampshire bus was stoned and the players abused at Southgate, and the Middlesex players were relieved of their wallets. A combination of rain and alcohol has brought out the inner oik in some spectators. The ECB have pledged to act.