The Surfer

As a matter of the highest urgency, Australian pitches need to recover their pip. Curators around the world are under pressure to prepare featherbeds so that matches go the distance and television revenues are paid in full. Australian surfaces used to be lively on the first morning, and winning the toss could be a mixed blessing. Now most of them are duds. Presumably, some clown will presently blame the ICC.

Panesar's hands are so big he can comfortably fit three cricket balls into the palms and fingers of each. The middle finger of his left hand, which controls his deliveries and imparts some turn, is an extraordinary 11cm from base to tip.

John Emburey, the former England off spinner who was coach of Northamptonshire when a 16-year-old Panesar arrived for a trial with the county in 1998, said the young Sikh's fingers were the longest he had seen on a finger spinner, and provide a prodigious natural advantage.

Harmison himself is unlikely to need reminding that it was here in Perth, in his first Ashes series four years ago, that he lost his rhythm in the biggest possible way. There were nine runs off his first over, four byes in his second, Matthew Hayden pulled the last ball of the third into the hands of Alex Tudor, Ponting hooked him for six in the fourth and at the close of the opening day Harmison had bowled eight overs and taken one for 27. It had been an eventful spell but gave no hint of what would follow the next morning ...

He hasn’t been playing enough. He has not looked confident and convincing as he was years ago. But once the talent is there — you see it with Lara all the time — disappointing in a few innings and suddenly he puts it together — I think you will see that Tendulkar will be a contributor in this series.

I've been really saddened by what's happened to England since then … I've just thought, 'What's going on here?' How can you beat Australia last summer and then perform so dismally in the winter against Pakistan and India - and even more abysmally in one-day cricket?

Martyn, who shocked the cricket world by retiring last Friday and fleeing to the United States, had around five months left to run on a contract believed to be worth around $460,000 per year.

Hopefully years from now, when sports tourism has really and finally taken off and bringing in millions of dollars into the national coffers, it will be remembered as the weekend, or one of the weekends, when it all started.

I know a visitor like Beefy would appreciate the local bars too. I mean the real local bars, in St John's. Places like Points or Villa. There are lots of places where you can drink rum by the water. You don't have to be in the best environment, or in the greatest or most refined buildings, but you can just watch the life go by. These bars have character. There's always guys dancing, smashing down dominoes, watching telly, and the radio would be on as well, with high talk into the night. I take him to a place of locals, mostly my friends, and he is comfortable in that environment. Some would be drinkers and they would have heard about his feats of drinking and want to take him on.

"I have never experienced such a sense of loss after a cricket match and I hope I never feel that bad ever again. I wasn't boo-hooing or anything like that but the tears were there. We've taken huge stick and I can't argue with that but don't accuse this England team of not caring ... I was in shock for hours after the game. It wasn't until I woke up the next morning that the real horror began to sink in.