'Worst' Australian team too good for England again

Ben Stokes was asked in the aftermath of England's 11-day 3-0 Ashes defeat in Adelaide where this Australia team ranked in terms of the sides he had lost to in three Ashes series down under.

"They were better than us," Stokes said.

The journalist asked again, thinking maybe the question had been misinterpreted. It hadn't been.

"They were better than us," Stokes said a second time.

If you had said to Stokes a month ago that he would lose the Ashes in 11 days to a team that was missing Josh Hazlewood for three Tests, Pat Cummins for two, and Steven Smith, Usman Khawaja and Nathan Lyon for one each, he might have laughed at you.

Throw in Khawaja suffering back spasms in Perth and being completely incapacitated to the point where Travis Head had to open in five of the six innings in the series, Smith suffering vertigo on the morning of the third Test only for Khawaja to be recalled in the middle order in a game when he turned 39, and then Australia's other 38-year-old, Lyon, injuring his hamstring and being unable to bowl on a flat fifth-day pitch in Adelaide, it is easy to see why Stokes was so shellshocked in the aftermath of his team's defeat.

He might not have said it, but it was hard not to conclude that England's skipper perhaps shared former team-mate Stuart Broad's sentiment that this is the worst Australian team England have faced in the last four Ashes series in Australia.

Yet Australia's imperfect team played near perfect cricket, and they're pretty happy about it.

"We have to say, being called the worst Australian team in 15 years … like it's nice to be sitting where we are, 3-0 up," Marnus Labuschagne told ABC radio after the match. "The job's not done yet. We want to make sure it's 5-0 and really take that urn."

All the talk coming into the series had been about England's Bazballers and the threat they posed to an ageing and vulnerable Australian side.

All that talk has quietly annoyed the Australians. And whilst they have been very respectful publicly in their comments about the quality of England's team, they have been privately plotting their downfall with more determination than any other series in the last two years.

"Winning 3-0 is hugely satisfying for many reasons," Pat Cummins said after the match. "But particularly, I think, a lot of the chat before the series was about how evenly poised it's going to be and to win in straight sets, it doesn't get much better than that."

It is a credit to Australia's planning and execution, even in the face of unexpected hurdles and not every player contributing to the best of their ability.

That the players were wearing "Ronball" t-shirts after the win in Adelaide, made by Travis Head in honour of their coach, Andrew "Ron" McDonald, was revealing. That they wore them, too, when Cummins invited a group of Australia's ex-Ashes winners, including ex-coach Justin Langer, whose exit from the same dressing room had been acrimonious after the last home Ashes win, spoke volumes about how the team feels about their current coach and the environment he has created despite his insistence on staying as far in the background as possible.

"There's been huge disruption with some of the players," Cummins said. "I missed a couple of games, but the way that Steve [Smith] can just jump in and it's seamless, other players who are on the fringe can jump in and be match-winners straight away. I think it's a huge credit to Andrew McDonald and the coaching staff and the medical staff that we feel like we've got a big squad that we can draw on."

It has been a victory built on perfect execution from an imperfect team. Nowhere in Australia's planning did they have Head opening the batting as their preferred opener, but his centuries in Perth and in Adelaide have ripped two Tests from England's grasp.

Alex Carey keeping up to the stumps to Scott Boland and Michael Neser to quell England's Bazballers was not bowling plan A, nor was him scoring 63, 106 and 72 batting at No. 6, albeit they had hoped for those runs from No. 7.

Starc taking 22 wickets at 17.04 was plan A, but scoring match-defining hands of 77 and 54 from No. 9 was not.

Khawaja being left out of the Adelaide Test initially and then recalled at No. 4 45 minutes before the toss would never have been forecasted. But his ability to focus the mind and deliver 82 and 40 among some chaotic batting showed why the selectors had kept faith.

Australia have won all the key moments on the back of doing the basics better despite clear vulnerabilities. Their fielding has been a cut above, led by Carey's keeping and the slip catching of Smith and Labuschagne. Even their back-up wicketkeeper Josh Inglis, playing as a batter in a weird role at No .7, delivered a stunning direct-hit run-out in Brisbane.

But they have also been calmer than England in frenzied moments, showcasing adaptability and learnings from past mistakes.

They kept the door ajar for England in Adelaide with Cummins admitting they had left some runs out there in both innings. There were shades of Lord's 2023 when Lyon hobbled off with injury, unable to bowl, and the required runs to win crept under three figures with three wickets still to take.

"[Lord's] went through my head," Cummins said. "I reminded myself that we won that Lord's Test, even though Nathan wasn't there.

"I think it was a very calm group out there. We've been in those situations before, and you can't overplay it. You can't force it. In the past, we might have tried to create wickets out of nothing, but we felt like we had enough runs and just be methodical, go at two or three an over and those wickets will present themselves. I think there's some learnings that played out today."

They've been there and done it. That is the value of experience.

Australia's players and staff took great joy in ambling out to the middle of Adelaide Oval, long after the record crowds had vacated, to celebrate their win. Many were wearing Ronball T-shirts with a beer in hand. They linked arm-in-arm to sing John Williamson's iconic anthem "True Blue", just as they had done before the Test in honour of the Bondi terror victims.

They then belted out the team song, "Under the Southern Cross I Stand", for the third time in 11 days of Test cricket, and 16th time in the last 18 Ashes Tests at home.

Australia retain the urn again. Too old, too slow, and too good.