'If Chanderpaul had a live grenade in his pocket...'
... he'd do what? Find out in this week's Twitter round-up, which includes Jesse Ryder's breakfast plans and Shane Warne's junk food queries
The kerfuffle
"Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Nick Knight has worked his way into the commentary box for Home Tests?? RIDICULOUS!!"
@kevinpp24 (Kevin Pietersen)
Knight was hired by Sky shortly after his retirement. One of England's most successful one-day cricketers, he brings short-format expertise to what is otherwise a Test-heavy commentary roster. Having spent several years commentating primarily on county cricket, Knight is now being used more frequently during Test matches and… oh, wait, was that a rhetorical question?
The personal information
"I actually have a cut on my little soldier from where mr Robbie Joseph hit me in the box today!! #sore #Shameitdidntswell"
@cobby24 (Josh Cobb, Leicestershire opener)
The superstition
Chennai Super Kings coach Stephen Fleming struggled to work out who was going to make it through to the IPL playoffs when his side played Royal Challengers Bangalore.
"Tough watching the RCB chase. Bags packed and then unpacked and then packed again, emotional roller coaster!"
@SPFleming75
But where was he while all this was unfolding, asked team member Scott Styris?
Fleming replied:
"@scottbstyris in my room where you muppets sent me!"
Cricketers often have superstitions, but exiling his own coach might explain why Scott Styris hasn't played in this year's IPL.
The bench warmer
"Landed in dharamshala,scenic place right next to the mountains..hope @scottbstyris atleast got a seat on the plane!;)"
@mukundabhinav
The statement of fact
"If chanderpaul had a live grenade in his pocket or a runaway train up his chaminda he wld still leave the next delivery outside off stump"
@RMHogg (Rodney Hogg)
Nice rhyming slang, Rodney.
The pastime
"A very pleasant evening of paper plane throwing off the 18th floor with @clintmckay27 and Aiden. A fitting way to end the stay in India."
@dirk_nannes
How is throwing paper planes from the 18th floor a fitting end to anything? Has Nannes' stay in India been defined by this activity?
The added insult
"from the heat in india to the cold in SA, and now my #bro has stolen my slippers."
DavidMillerSA12
The gibberish
"BBy h u"
@AdilRashid03
To which Jason Gillespie replied:
"What the?"
@YCCCDizzy
You're the coach, Jason. You've got to take at least some of the responsibility for that crime against the English language.
The breakfast
"Just like a chocolate milkshake only crunchy #CocoPops"
@DijaRyder (Jesse Ryder)
The lunch
"Apart from exceeding most people's expectations by taking the Test 5 days, West Indies will also be happy they got an extra lunch at Lord's."
@iainobrien
"Strauss dogs innings today was 'decent' but today's spiced lamb chops followed by sticky toffee pudding and ice cream was simply incredible"
@BunnyOnions (Graham Onions)
The music
"I feel like I could take on the world today. Have been cruising with my top down rocking out to living in a box."
@Swannyg66 (Graeme Swann)
The pressing question
"What are the best flavoured potato chips / crisps ? Salt and vinegar ? BBQ ? Chicken ? Ready Salted or some of the other fancy ones ? Xxx"
@Warne888
It's hard to believe Shane Warne didn't investigate this extensively during his pre-Hurley, less-svelte days.
The county season in microcosm
"Out in 10min. Lights are on and the rain has stopped. #gosteelbacks"
@AndrewHall99 at 2.41pm
Back off for rain. Love this.... #gosteelbacks
@AndrewHall99 at 3.02pm
The makeshift keeper
"What defines a good wicket-keeper? Tonight I took my 1st catch off a seamer in IPL2012! Bad keeping? Maybe! I still think #statsareoverrated"
@ABdeVilliers17
What's your philosophy?
"Whatever you shout into the mountain range echo's back at you, so sow what you want to reap."
@7polly7 (Shaun Pollock)
Whatever you broadcast via Twitter will bring spelling corrections right back at you, Shaun. No apostrophe in "echoes" - sow what you want to reap.
Getting to know God
No updates from Sachin Tendulkar this week. And he normally has so much to say.
Tino Best's modesty corner
Best was recalled to the West Indies squad this week. He must have gone into overdrive.
"Very Grateful ....GOD is AWESOME #NeverGiveUp"
@tinobest
Eh? What? This has to be a mistake. Tino, you seem to have typed "GOD" when you meant to type "Tino Best". Get a grip, man.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket
Read in App
Elevate your reading experience on ESPNcricinfo App.