Pakistan launch academy for veterans

The Pakistan Cricket Board has announced a new initiative to develop cricket at the grassroots level in Pakistan - an academy to groom retired veterans in order to prepare them for the rigours of international cricket.

"There are plenty of such academies all over the world to help young, emerging cricketers. But we are the first board to do something for the veterans, who we truly believe are the future of Pakistan cricket," said PCB chairman Ijaz Butt. "We need a good supply line of semi-retired and retired players to take over from youngsters like Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Umar Akmal when they get dropped from the team for bad performances, bad attitude or bad luck. The academy will ensure that our pool of veteran talent never dries up," he added, absently fiddling with a tube of Brylcreem he had borrowed from Pakistan president Asif Ali Zardari.

"In Pakistan we have a unique culture of blooding vastly experienced cricketers into the team as soon as we feel they're ready for it - and we can't just throw them into the deep end without preparation. The new academy will provide an opportunity for these former greats - we call them 'emerged' players - to make the leap to the international level." said Butt.

"I am happy that the PCB has decided to do something to help out veterans with years of cricket behind them. One day in the distant future, when I eventually get to their age, I hope to benefit from the academy's help," said current ODI and Twenty20 skipper (at least when we last checked) Shahid Afridi.

While the BCCI has been quick to acknowledge and appreciate the PCB's startlingly innovative move, the Indian board has clarified that they will not be following suit. "No, we currently have no plans of opening a veterans' academy. Although there is some possibility of starting an academy exclusively for the development of Ashish Nehra," said a BCCI spokesman.

Meanwhile Cricket Australia isn't giving up on their plans to experiment with a split-innings format for limited-overs cricket, despite some criticism from the players. "Look, we're trying to revive the one-day format and make it more exciting, and the split-innings concept is just an idea we're trying out. We may have to further refine it, but we're confident we'll come up with a viable format eventually," said CEO James Sutherland. "We're also toying with a new idea called the FDI format, the five-day international. Remove the over limit altogether and extend the number of days from one to five. It's something that hasn't really been tried before in the limited-overs format, and we hope it will make the games more exciting for the players and viewers."

"Of course, we'll have to test it first," he added.

While the recent complaint from the Indian cricket team that they're exhausted from playing to a packed schedule is merely the latest in a long line of similar complaints about too much cricket being played, in what has got to be a first in world sport, ICC officials have called for a reduction in the international cricket calendar because they're worn out from "too much administration".

Speaking to reporters, ICC CEO Haroon Lorgat said: "It's exhausting being a cricket administrator day in and day out. Constantly signing documents, snoozing in the stands during matches, complaining about the BCCI's clout, drinking champagne, and sending out Lalit Modi jokes by SMS is hard work - and there's way too much of it. My colleagues at the ICC have asked for an off season, so that they get enough time to recuperate from the back-breaking and punishing life of international cricket administrators," he said, before collapsing from the intense strain of uttering two consecutive sentences without a drinks break.