Don't support your national team

England's first two efforts at the World Cup did not go down well with English cricket journalists. Two weeks ago, these people were telling us that Morgan's chaps could surprise a few people. Well, they were right. In fact, I can honestly say I did not expect England to be that bad. I consider myself surprised.

The people who bought us these optimistic previews are now feeling indignant. England got their tactics wrong! They tried to score too quickly! They tried to score too slowly! They didn't prepare enough! They over-prepared! Eoin Morgan isn't English!

But from where does this indignation spring? Predicting that England might do well at a World Cup is to come very close to embodying Einstein's definition of madness. Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I hate to bring this up, but this is not the first time that England have flopped at a World Cup. It's not the second, third or fourth time, either.

Their reaction reminds me of the man who used to enter his pet tortoise Mr Sleepy in the Epsom Derby. Every year, he saddled it up, sponged it down, gave it its instructions and carried it to the start. Every year, the race began, and Mr Sleepy shuffled out of the stalls, sniffed the air, then stooped to munch a mouthful of grass. And every year, his owner could be seen berating the creature behind the stables after the race, telling him how he'd let everyone down again, how he had it too easy, how his training regime was too lax, and how he'd deliberately ignored his instructions, while Mr Sleepy munched mournfully on a lettuce.

But English fans are not the only ones feeling let down. Roger Federer's endorsement of the Indian cricket team's shirt has caused widespread outrage. One Pakistan student even conducted a survey which revealed that Pakistan fans were feeling hurt and betrayed.

There are a couple of problems here. If you set your threshold for hurt and betrayal at such a low level as a tennis player's choice of shirt endorsement, well, you should probably prepare yourself for a lifetime of hurt and betrayal. And, more importantly, why would you allow your emotional well-being to depend on the temporary fortunes of a collection of young men you've never met who don't care about you in the slightest?

The solution to all this angst is quite simple. Stop supporting your national team. After all, what happens if they win? Do you get a day off work? A share of the prize money? Your picture taken with Sunil Gavaskar? Nope.

Rid yourself of this addiction and you will find you enjoy your cricket much more. It's like giving up smoking, only easier. I stopped supporting England ten years ago and now, when England lose, instead of feeling like Bob Willis with a migraine on a wet Monday morning, I just shrug. A great burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

Give it a try. If your national team is playing in a crucial World Cup game, steel yourself and change the channel. If someone gives you a glossy pre-tournament magazine full of optimistic previews about how your national team are going to lift the trophy, just snort derisively and say you're supporting Scotland this year. And if you bump into Roger Federer in the supermarket, tell him you always preferred Nadal.