Pakistan's favourite whipping boys

One of the more reproduced sections from Roy Keane's recently released autobiography refers to the team talk by Sir Alex Ferguson before a match against Tottenham.

It relates to the image of Tottenham being a particularly flaky and soft team, and one that could never stand up to the Manchester United of Keane and Ferguson; it's a viewpoint they have generally reinforced since Keane's playing days. When Tottenham won at Old Trafford in 2012, it was their first victory against Manchester United for 11 years, and their first at United's ground for 23.

All teams have to carry the burdens of their past. As much as fans or individual players might argue about it being "just another game" over and over, we have been shown that history and trends tend to become more than mere facts and figures for copywriters to puff up their pieces with. The mentality of a team and its fans ends up being built on the past.

Pakistan, perhaps more than most sports teams, tend to follow the patterns once they are set up. For the Pakistani fan, and certainly members of the team, the Australians are hairy giants out to scare you; ditto the South Africans. Over the past two decades Pakistan have had two terrible streaks - they lost 13 consecutive Tests to Australia and 14 consecutive ODIs to South Africa. Those streaks weren't coincidental.

West Indies, meanwhile, are our brothers, in their obsession with nostalgia, pace bowling and the mercurial. The English are the colonial masters who need to be beaten for all that comes with such relationships. India are, well, India. Basically every nation has its own unique, complex identity against our lot.

Everyone but New Zealand. Theirs isn't a complex identity. They are a team that ought to be beaten.

For Pakistanis of all age, size and experience, the Kiwis are what Tottenham were to Manchester United - a quality team against everyone but us. It's a sentiment echoed in the extract from Osman Samiuddin's book in this month's Cricket Monthly. Aaqib Javed says: "We had Sri Lanka next, who weren't so good then, and New Zealand, and if you take New Zealand's record against everyone and then place it against ours, it's awful. Against Pakistan they've never done anything. We used to look at them and think, no way, we can take these guys on for sure."

Unlike most things former Pakistani cricketers say, this sentiment is actually backed by facts. Pakistan's Test history with New Zealand is so removed from the general trend that it is disconcerting.

Take, for instance, Pakistan's Dark Age. From March 1959 till the start of 1977, they went through the worst statistical period they are ever likely to go through. Sure, over the final third of that span Pakistan actually had a team of talented individuals but it wasn't until Mushtaq Mohammad was appointed captain that Pakistan began to win. Over those 17 years Pakistan never played South Africa (for obvious political reasons), only played India in one five-match series where all matches were drawn (before a 17-year sabbatical for obvious political reasons), but did play the rest somewhat regularly.

Against England, West Indies and Australia they played 37 Tests and won one.

For 17 years Pakistan more or less failed to beat a single top side (it is curious that over the last two decades Pakistan cricket has been run by players of that era). In this decade and a half they also played 15 Tests against New Zealand, winning five and losing one. Even when Pakistan could beat no one else, they still ruled over New Zealand.

The 1980s and the years either side of them constitute Pakistan's greatest Test era, but the same was true of New Zealand. Through all the advantages teams in that time period had in home matches, New Zealand too made their country into a fortress.

Between losing at home to Australia in 1977 to losing to West Indies in 1995, New Zealand - led by Sir Richard Hadlee - went through probably the greatest phase in their cricket history. Over this time they played 15 home series against teams other than Pakistan, won seven, drew seven and lost only one (to England in 1991-92).

During this time they hosted Pakistan for five series. Pakistan won three and lost one, in 1984-85. Even when New Zealand weren't losing to anyone else, they lost to Pakistan.

So the image of New Zealand, the Pakistani equivalent of Tottenham, remains. Though they have turned around their ODI fortunes against Pakistan (they have won 11 of the last 17 ODIs between the two sides), the Test record follows the pattern.

Even when Pakistan toured the country under Mohammad Yousuf, arguably the worst captaincy stint in Pakistani history, New Zealand couldn't beat them.

It is now just a few of months short of 30 years since New Zealand beat Pakistan in a Test series - 11 series and counting. A month ago you could argue that this was probably the best time for New Zealand to win their first series against Pakistan in Asia since 1969. Now it might be the worst.

After the Australia series you could half expect Waqar Younis to walk into the dressing room and say, "Lads, it's New Zealand", and walk out. It might be the most appropriate thing to say.