India win battle of the hacks

For the third time in as many attempts, India pulled off a stunning one-day win against Pakistan at Lahore. This time, though, Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and co. could only watch from their moving bus as the pot-bellies in blue went about the business of dropping catches and bowling wides. Fortunately, the visiting Indian Journalists XI also did a few things right, and the Sports Journalists Association of Lahore (SJAL) team were left well behind, losing by 62 runs.

The match, organised by the SJAL, was just one more small component in the long list of interactions between the two countries that has been organised on this tour. You can't go for a walk in the park without having someone tell you how every event, however random or unplanned, was designed to bring the two governments together. Most journalists have enough to worry about banging out copy in time to meet deadlines and please editors, and if you believed everything you heard, they were all diplomatic pawns in a grander design. The especially naughty local children go as far as saying that Pakistan merely let India win the one-dayers and the first Test, since this is a friendship series.

Vikrant Gupta, of the television channel Aajtak, did what Sourav Ganguly failed to do in five one-dayers. He won the toss and justified his appointment as captain by carting the bowling around for 91 off only 70 balls. Several bowlers ran in quickly and bowled slowly, but none could dismiss him. At the other end, batsmen gently prodded the bowling away and fed Gupta the strike. G Rajaraman (10) broke trend with some agricultural slogging.

Qaiser Chouhan was the one bowler to trouble the Indians. This could very well be because he realised that there was no Bradman-in-waiting in the opposition, and adopted the cunning strategy of bowling straight. Just when he thought he had done something clever, he realised that the fall of each wicket brought fresh legs to the crease. Indranil Basu of The Pioneer newspaper took over the assault from Gupta, banging 30 off 18 balls to take his team to 198 for 5 from 25 overs.

The break also afforded the chance to discuss the finer points of the performance with the experts at the ground. Some former Pakistan Test cricketers turned up to watch, of whom at least one missed the original India-Pakistan match at Lahore, because he was not sent tickets by the Pakistan Cricket Board. Imtiaz Ahmed, the first Pakistani wicketkeeper to score a Test double-century, Saeed Ahmed and Younis Ahmed were among those who spent a lazy Saturday watching an ungainly, overweight lot with limited talent murder the game they themselves had once played so well.

The quick break sorted, Team India lurched into its first huddle. It shouldn't be said that journalists don't learn anything from watching hours of cricket. Loud noises were made, meaningless slogans chanted, and they assumed fielding positions they were more accustomed to writing about. Iqbal Harper (19) and Aqeel Ahmed (21) began as though they needed to make 199 in 10 overs. And it was not until this not-so-humble reporter splayed Harper's stumps with his first ball of the match that team India got into their second huddle.

From then on there were more get-togethers than decent partnerships, as an assortment of bowlers ran through the batting. Rajaraman (3 for 14) put paid to any ideas of a middle-order revival, and Ajay Naidu, of Hitavada newspaper (4 for 21) wisely stuck to his gentle left-arm spin and ran through the late-order. Rahul Banerji also proved that it is possible to keep batsmen quiet by lobbing balls so high that there was a risk of one of the many security guards shooting it out of the air thinking it was a clay pigeon. One batsman laughed so hard as the ball came down he managed to get himself out caught.

In the end, SJAL XI were bowled out for 136 in 24.2 overs and it was time for everyone to rush from the Lahore City Cricket Association to the Gadaffi Stadium to get to work. The Indian team were in shock as they saw a group of people clad in uniforms strikingly similar to theirs. When they were told that India's journalists were continuing the good work they had begun on the field, one cricketer said, "Good job, that's another nail in the coffin." Another one was generous enough to chirp, "Now you guys can write whatever you want about us and we can't complain." If only it were that simple. When they wake up the next day, however, each sore muscle and aching bone will remind them that it's back to business as usual.