Bing, or if you're feeling particularly adventurous, Binga.
Er… not exactly.
No, much duller than that. He is named after a popular chain of electronics stores in the Sydney area. Told you.
Tall. Blond. Australian. Check his guitar case.
Has a very selective approach and will not merely endorse any old product. To date, he has only put his name to breakfast cereals, eyewear, energy drinks, watches, shoes, cars, computer games and underpants.
A nice young man with a lovely smile.
Officially the whitest substance known to man, one of the main reasons he smiles so much is in order to dazzle opposition batsmen with the glare.
Lee is such an all-round good egg that even though he is one of the wealthiest sportsmen in Australia, he still works selling and fitting suits for the menswear shop that gave him a job when he was 17. He once even started a shift there just 10 hours after stepping off a flight from a Test series in South Africa.
Despite the fact that the world's supply of mediocre singer-songwriters is already large enough to last until the next ice age, he is determined to bolster their numbers. An unrepentant guitar botherer, his band Six and Out have been trying the patience of the citizens of New South Wales for years.
Lee knows the first names of all the opposition players and on occasions shakes their hands.
Since his injury, Lee gets to sit with Preity Zinta when the Kings XI Punjab are playing.
The gurgling noise that lasts for a minute or two as the last dregs of water are swirling around the plughole.
Could probably run you up a nice single-breasted double-vented three button suit out of palm leaves and seaweed.
Housewives, dentists, orthopaedic surgeons.
Tailenders, music lovers.
Against New Zealand in 2005, he pioneered the use of baseball-style pitches, including the Twisting Temple-Tickler, the Curving Cheek-Chaser and the almost unplayable Vertical Nose-Flattener.
"Sorry mate, she slipped."
He is planning a Bollywood career, is learning Hindi, and has been invited to sing the theme song for the 2011 World Cup. So quite high.
Andrew Hughes is a writer currently based in England