Let us count the ways in which this well-fed youngster puts us in mind of the much-missed Inzamam-ul-Haq. Boasts on occasion a similar delicacy of touch, has at least one quasi-comic run-out to his credit, and looks like he knows hunger for runs is not the only appetite there is. How far away can the spectator-assault episode be?
His love for the sauce may get all the attention, but one mustn't make the mistake of thinking Jesse's heft is all beer gut. Rumoured to be on the wagon at the moment, but he's got a few legs of lamb up there with him for company.
Who ate all the biltong, then? All signs point to Jakes. Has rediscovered his appetite - for runs and more besides, it would seem. Is it fair to say he's been pulling his weight this year?
So what if Kolkata have had a lean run - there's no drought in Yashpal's post code. He's the boy on the burning deck who's decided that if the ship's going down, he's not going to let all the cream pies in the galley get a soaking.
What do you get when you bring together two former fat lads? One bonafide heavyweight, that's what. Fred and Rob have lost their puppy fat, but they'll always be chubby in our book.
Sneaks in on the vestiges of a few party-hearty years. Possessed of the ability to clout 'em over the rope and turn his arm over to occasional good effect, this lad bring a lot to the table… and takes plenty off it as well, by the looks of it.
Absorbed early the golden adage that man shall not live by bread alone, but by bread with cheese and pepperoni on top. Lost hair and gained it back with medical intervention. No such problems with the weight, then.
Not quite the role model coaches have in mind when they speak of well-rounded players. Powar is stocky and earth-shakingly so. For proof of that last, try sneaking a ball past him at midwicket.
Strong of chest and broad of shoulder, which gives him a considerable advantage when it comes to shoving people out of the way in the lunch queue. Buffet bowler? You don't know the half of it.
To be a batsman and pudgy is pedestrian - any idiot with sufficient antipathy to his exercycle can manage it. To be a bowler - and fast bowler at that - and pudgy, now there's a feat and a half. Rumoured to use a mini Mars bar to mark his run-up.
May not be playing anymore but presumably brings the same heft to his coaching theory that he used to impart to his strokes back in the day. Radical innovation for next season: having the strategic time-out replaced by a tiffin break.