Ravi Shastri continues to luxuriate in sound of own voice
After a short hiatus from the commentary box, Ravi Shastri is back and doing what he does best - deriving maximum sensual pleasure from the sound of his own voice. Colleagues, family members, and anyone within hearing distance found themselves left in the embarrassing position of wondering whether or not they were being an intrusive third wheel to the continuing love affair between the two. Shastri and his voice were last seen entering a luxury hotel together, allegedly on the advice of fellow commentators to "get a room".

T20 circus comes to South Africa
The T20 circus has arrived in South Africa, seemingly no sooner than it pulled up stakes in Sri Lanka. The streets of Johannesburg, as a result, presented a surreal scene, with clowns, people on stilts, and Harbhajan Singh wandering around, many of them eventually ending up in the city's many bars. One popular Sri Lankan clown, wearing what appeared to be a delightfully ridiculous wig, kept demonstrating to passersby how to throw a ball at three sticks while appearing all the while to be hurling a discus. Many others tried impressing the crowds that had gathered around them by spontaneously re-growing the hair on their scalps. The performers' leisure-time activities lasted only so long, however, as BCCI ringmasters came and whipped them all back into their hovels so they could get to work cleaning out the cheerleaders' cages and the sponsors' boxes in preparation for showtime.

Man wakes up remembering exactly who played last night
In unprecedented news, a man who had been at the stadium to watch one of the Champions League matches woke up the next morning remembering exactly who had played the night before. "Honey, I'm telling you, it was a match between the Highveld Lions and the Mumbai Indians," he declared to his frightened wife, who, upon checking the papers, realised that it was, sadly, true.

Sammy enjoys rooftop parade of one
Darren Sammy reminded himself to enjoy the moment as he waved to the crowds from the open-top bus, which he had boarded after buying a ticket at the bus station adjacent to the airport. On his way to downtown St John's, towards WICB headquarters, Sammy smiled and gave the victory sign to the scores of people and vehicles that surged past the bus to negotiate the traffic. The West Indies captain held aloft and kissed the trophy he had brought home for the West Indian people, in response to which some, mostly a family of elderly German tourists who were the only other occupants of the bus, gave him some coins.

Late-model Watson recalled by Cricket Australia
In the biggest recall of its kind since Toyota called back hundreds of thousands of vehicles for a faulty power window earlier this year, Cricket Australia has announced a recall of Shane Watson from the Champions League. "Our researchers have found that the late-model Watson has a defective priority listing," said Rod Marsh. "Most CA products have their country listed as No. 1, whereas the gauge in the Watson model has been observed to be wavering from where it has been programmed to be. We're calling the allrounder in to correct what we are hoping is a minor problem, and would like to take the opportunity to reassure patrons of CA that we have their best interests at heart, if not necessarily Watson's."

R Rajkumar tweets here

All quotes and "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?