Shirts, sieges and stands

Siege stops play Cricket matches get abandoned for all manner of reasons: rain, the occasional snow and even protests. But a first-class match between Dhaka and Barisal in Bangladesh came to a most unlikely end when a non-stop countrywide blockade caused the four-day game to be called off a day early. An official announcement originally stated that the game would continue at "any venue" at "a later date" but this mad vagueness was brought to a head when it was eventually decided to call the game off - although the siege and its mentality continued.

Getting shirty...or not, as it happens Oh dear. The Indian team were left without the shirts on their back when their kit supplier failed to deliver their uniforms on departure for the tour to South Africa. They were left without any official clothing whatsoever, including jackets - but the players agreed it wasn't worth blazing about. "There's no point in blaming anyone," shivered a player, "but it's really strange to be leaving for an international tour without any official clothes". Let's hope that when play gets underway, the Indians are luckier than Northants back in April. The county side had to take the field against Essex in old and borrowed kit because their new togs hadn't arrive in time.

Sick It's not just the players who suffer. The New Zealand umpire Tony Hill had to leave Kenya's second one-dayer against Bermuda after just six overs, when he vomited on the pitch because of food poisoning. He headed to his hotel to recuperate and a local official was hastily drafted in. The third umpire Chris Broad seemed to find this very amusing, as he wrote on his blog: "As he was walking off the field he vomited not once, not twice but three times!" But he wasn't laughing the next day when he threw up himself. "Why is it that when someone in the sporting world suffers ignominy people always laugh at them!" he moaned.

Stand up and be counted Two schoolboys wrote themselves into the record books with a stand of 721 in India. The two 13-year-olds were playing in a schools tournament in Hyderabad and both struck triple centuries. But, thanks to the 75-yard boundaries, neither batsman stroked a six. Not that that would have come as any consolation for the bowlers or, come to that, the fielders.

Yobs to be dobbed in Text messages are the scourge of some in the cricket world. But they will come in handy in Australia, where a new text messaging service, "Dob in a yob", will allow spectators to inform security of anyone causing a nuisance in the crowd during the upcoming Ashes. The pests will then be monitored by cameras and security and face ejection. Unsurprisingly, the scheme has its roots in English football...

It's not football Cricket may have borrowed a few more innovations from football - the Pools in the '60s, TV screens at grounds, coloured kit, floodlit matches, violence, sex scandals - but now soccer is piggybacking on the success of cricket, specifically the Ashes. Everton's Phil Neville and Tim Cahill have been lined up to promote the Everton FC, er, cricket bat. We've heard Neville used to be an opener in his time - perhaps the closest an Everton player will ever come to being in the top two. At £17.99, the bat may not be as solid as Everton's defence, but is probably similarly lacking in flair. (enough Everton jibes - Ed)

The eyes have it But if you thought that was slightly odd... Cricket and Bollywood are no strangers yet the latest link is somewhat bizarre. An ardent fan of the actress Kareena Kapoor is showing his appreciation by setting up a cricket tournament in her honour in India. Hayatulla Khan is gathering 16 teams for his competition which will be held in Kotda, 450km from Jaipur. "I like Kareena's eyes the most," he said. So there.

Music to their ears Mahendra Singh Dhoni is busily proving his poster-boy credentials with his latest venture: featuring in a music video.The song, performed by Rani, is called Dil Ko Churaya Re and, in the video, Dhoni gets to show off his acting and dancing skills. Cricketers are continuing to take the showbiz world by storm - Mark Ramprakash is now favourite to win Strictly Come Dancing, with his odds slashed from 15 to 1 at the outset to 1.8 to 1. What next: Rob Key gyrating in lycra in the new Christina Aguilera video?

Well versed On a similarly musical theme, this column reported last week that Cricket Australia has commissioned songwriters to come up with Pom-taunting lyrics. The Aussie fans have done similarly, with the Fanatics bringing out a song booklet called "Six, jugs and rock'n'roll". No doubt they'll be having a few sing-offs with the Barmy Army... but have Australia got their own official poet? Well, England have - the Arts Council are funding David Fine, from Derbyshire, to write 25 poems, one for each day's play. "Wordsworth, Tennyson, Betjeman, Housman, Chesterton and Hughes have all gone out to bat for cricket, in verse," Fine explained. "A line is a ball, a rhyme perhaps a wicket." It doesn't stop there - the last few months of Nasser Hussain's England career have been writ in verse, by another poet - SJ Litherland, whose volume The Homage is dedicated to him.

Curioser and curioser Poor old Marcus Trescothick is having a hard week. First of all he leaves the England tour with an illness, the next he's not recognised by national papers - rather, someone else a decade older is mistaken for him. A South African man, Justin O'Sullivan, was on the same flight back from Australia as Trescothick and as he stepped off the plane, the photographers snapped away, leaving Tresco to walk through without being troubled. Images of O'Sullivan were beamed around the world and used by several of the daily newspapers, with the Daily Telegraph for instance hastily printing a clarification and blaming "a wire services error". O'Sullivan, a keen sports fan, plans to be at an Ashes Test this winter, where he could well be mistaken for Tresco again. "One thing is for sure, though," he said, "I won't be opening the batting for England, whoever I look like."

Quotehanger Mark Robinson, the Sussex manager, was delighted to hear that Chris Adams was staying at the county and not going to Yorkshire afterall. "He came to me and said 'Is the original offer you made still open?'," recalled Robinson. "I said 'Of course it is'. Then we had a bit of a hug and a cuddle as we northerners do." They promptly donned their flatcaps and went off to walk their whippets.