'Eating like a pig on the couch tonight'

Kevin Pietersen's apparently moved on from coffee. He seems to have developed an interest in other liquids.

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Nothing says London's getting taken down quite like a middle-aged man feeling faintly apprehensive about what he's doing to himself after taking one sip of red wine.

Perhaps his fears were justified though. What led to his look in the following photo? A Babycham? A spritzer?

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Never one to make a point once if he could instead make it a thousand times, here's a tale of tailored depravity.

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It's almost as if he's seen his mate Chris Gayle build himself a reputation through conspicuously reporting his own "party" lifestyle and has decided to try and do something similar.

Gayle doesn't document himself falling by the wayside, however. It's like Shaun Pollock says…

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It's safe to say Danny Morrison doesn't quit.

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Being Danny Morrison is a 24x7 occupation.

So's being Shane Warne.

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How's Jimmy Neesham enjoying the UK?

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Nope. But we do have some tips on how you can feel like you've shortened your travel time.

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The truth is that driving slowly through deserted roadworks is as much a part of British life as drinking tea. How you getting on with that, by the way, Jimmy?

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Chris Gayle knows a trick to make himself feel at home, however. Simply go and eat in the place favoured by cricketers the world over.

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Looks like a good, balanced meal.

Finally, let's finish in traditional style with the latest Virat Kohli in-flight selfie.

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But ominous news - could that have been the last example we'll see for a while?

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Not good enough. Get back in a plane, Virat. Your public has certain expectations of you now.