The week on Twitter March 28, 2013

'Me hungry!'

And other primal urges in this week's Twitter round-up

What makes a cricketer? This week we focus on language skills, parental influence and - as always - diet. We also weigh the importance of dog size versus competitive spirit to no great effect.

The highlights
Graeme Swann enjoyed watching his team-mates salvage a draw from back home in England.

"I'm not sure what I enjoyed most, @MattPrior13 checking monty was awake @StuartBroad8 trying to decapitate himself or saving the game? Magic"

Swann eventually appeared to conclude that Broad's bat handle to the neck was his personal high point, even going so far as to accuse the fast bowler of calling for a review even while he was on his way down to the turf.

The run of form
Matt Prior's week wasn't all positive, however. He has been picking up the tab for dinner more often than not.

"Think it's time to quit credit card roulette!! #8from9"

That's astonishingly poor luck.

"U have got to be kidding me!! Lost 9 out of 10 games of credit card roulette! #breadandwatertomorrow #retired #alittlebitbitter"

That's even more astonishingly poor luck.

The job application
Saqlain Mushtaq appears to be angling for a job as a greetings card poet.

"Life is test do always best"

We've a few more people to see. We'll get back to you.

The caveman
Chris Gayle has a feeling he wishes to express.

"Me hungry!"

Language allows us to express so much.

Life with Kemar Roach
How's Kemar this week?

"Keeping It Presidential!"

No idea what that means, but it sounds positive.

What's your philosophy?
South Africa's Colin Ingram sees himself as a bit of a terrier.

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog! #LetsDoThis #proteafire #DontDieWondering"

Sounds catchy, but does that actually stand up to scrutiny? Surely there comes a point at which the amount of fight cannot make up for a shortfall in size. A Chihuahua puppy can't possibly fancy its chances in a dispute with a full-grown Doberman.

"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional."

Not in my hypothetical Doberman v Chihuahua scenario.

Nando's Watch
South Africa's David Miller is living the life.

"Just enjoyed a great nandos for lunch. About to settle into a full body massage. What a treat.!"

It is well-known that cricketers smash their food. Do they get this from their mothers?

"Mum smashed her swim leg now for the bike. Go mum. #melbironman"

No. According to John Hastings, cricketers' mothers only smash the swimming legs of triathlons.

The caveat
The above conclusion assumes that John Hastings is the average cricketer, eating at Nando's and smashing what he's presented with there.

"Black caviar unbelievably freakish."

But perhaps he's not representative of the majority.

The majority
Or perhaps times are changing. Perhaps the food is now more upmarket while the eating approach remains the same. Worcestershire's Alan Richardson appears to back that up.

" @alricho21

Smash it. Smash the oshizushi. Smash the nigirizushi. Smash all of it.