Can someone explain KP's sacking to me?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a national cricket board in possession of no Ashes, no trophy and no hope, must be in want of a scapegoat. This truth is very well entrenched in the minds of those entrusted with the well-being of English cricket (much in the same way one might entrust a budgerigar to a particularly peckish lion). Presumably there was some kind of logic behind the conclusion that the removal of the England team's best batsman would somehow increase the number of runs scored per innings, but on a scale of one to stupid this would seemingly rank somewhere below "insane troll logic".

Think of it like that person who always declares that it wasn't their fault that their car left lots of lovely red paint all over your bumper. It was your fault for having a car that mysteriously moved into their perfectly accurate reversing trajectory whilst you were parked up and shopping about half a mile away. The ECB have declared KP 'unmanageable". There is, of course, no question that the management skills of those who tried may simply not have been very good.

It's the silliest thing the ECB has done in a long time. And mind you, this is a committee that once attempted to eject its best batsman of the time for wearing the wrong-coloured socks.

Of course, despite all of the various, curiously vague aspersions cast on Kevin Pietersen by the England management, we do not appear to be any the wiser on the issue of what exactly he has done to make himself "unmanageable". Unless I blinked and missed the Tiger Moth biplane loop-the-looping over the wicket at Adelaide (of course, I may have been too busy sobbing into my Horlicks to notice) it would appear that KP, rather than being rapscallion usurper of all means of aviation law or footwear colour-pallette legislation, is guilty of some mysterious crime to which we are not yet privy.

That said, we must continue to believe that whatever KP has done is truly deserving of a spectacular sacking and international exile. If we didn't believe that, we might start wondering if English cricket is run by a collection of selfishly-motivated people without a shred of concern for the fans of the game or ethics in general.

And then where would we be?