Alex Bowden

MARCH 06, 2014

What Smith's retirement means for England

There are severe implications for Cook and Co, which no one seems to have thought of

"What do you mean you don't have to quit because you're Australian?" © Getty Images

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FEBRUARY 27, 2014

'I've been working on my evil villain laugh'

All the latest about what your favourite players are up to - when they're not being jet-lagged or eating at Nando's

FEBRUARY 13, 2014

'Drinking tea on a train is a true skill'

That, plus more chicken-restaurant tweets than you can shake a drumstick at

FEBRUARY 06, 2014

The ECB's vagueness problem

All that we know for certain is that Pietersen is out. The rest is a blurry collage of noncommittal sentences

JANUARY 30, 2014

'Never discuss cheese with rats or talk bread with birds'

The finer points of animal etiquette and more, in the latest Twitter round-up

JANUARY 23, 2014

Give administrators the freedom to eat themselves

Let the Australian, English and Indian boards do what they want regardless of our wishes. They'll soon learn

JANUARY 16, 2014

'I got a funky, funky style with a funky swag'

The identity of this three-times-funky playa, and more, revealed in this fortnight's Twitter round-up

JANUARY 09, 2014

Time to dissolve English cricket

Fans have a strong case for petitioning the courts to do away with English cricket, because it appears totally incapable of repaying its debts

JANUARY 02, 2014

'Roses are red, I'm going to bed'

Cricketers get lyrical in our first Twitter round-up of the year

DECEMBER 26, 2013

Graeme Swann: sorely missed

Sure, he took wickets, but his key contribution to the England side was in a different area

DECEMBER 19, 2013

'Breaking news: I can dance again'

Crucial information about cricketers and their lives, right here on our Twitter round-up

DECEMBER 12, 2013

Why England seem old despite being young

They are batting creakily when they should be thinking young and batting nervously

DECEMBER 05, 2013

'English players will be drinking concrete milkshakes in Darwin'

Just what you wanted: more wretched Ashes sledging, but on Twitter

NOVEMBER 28, 2013

Diary of an England back-room staffer

How could any player succumb to a stress-related illness when they're so carefully monitored by the support staff?

NOVEMBER 22, 2013

'Impossible to have a pee on the train without falling'

Laws of motion get tested this fortnight on our Twitter round-up

NOVEMBER 14, 2013

How to write your Tendulkar tribute

Everyone's doing it, but are they doing it right? Here are some handy tips

NOVEMBER 07, 2013

'Always a stinker when you drop your phone down the toilet'

This fortnight we flush out the best cricket tweets and give you the rest

OCTOBER 31, 2013

The Ashes aren't what they used to be

It's all different and watered down: from the trash-talking to the warm-ups and the terminology

OCTOBER 24, 2013

'Dear stomach, you're bored, not hungry - so shut up'

Conversations with organs, and mind-reading with Kraigg Brathwaite, in this fortnight's Twitter round-up

OCTOBER 17, 2013

How to manage a batsman's workload

All that standing around and occasionally prodding at the ball can be exhausting, so skip an innings or two to up your skills

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alan Tyers
Alan Tyers writes about sport for the Daily Telegraph and others. He is the author of six books published by Bloomsbury, all of them with pictures by the brilliant illustrator Beach. The most recent is Tutenkhamen's Tracksuit: The History of Sport in 100ish Objects. Alan is one of many weak links in the world's worst cricket team, the Twenty Minuters.

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