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Why are Somerset playing the Champions League?

The BCCI goes into damage-control mode by placing a call to Taunton

Alex Bowden

Comments: 30 | Text size: A | A
Alfonso Thomas shakes hands with Johan Botha, Somerset v Warriors, Champions League T20, Bangalore, October 5, 2011
"This is the 'Who does not look like that guy from Footloose' contest. So I win" © Associated Press
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A small office at the County Ground, Taunton. A phone rings and a woman answers it.

Woman: Hello?

BCCI: Hello, is this Somerset County Cricket Club?

Woman: Yes, what do you want?

BCCI: I'm from the BCCI. I need to clear up a couple of things about the Champions League.

Woman: I'm pretty busy.

The desk is clear. The computer is off. The woman is clearly not busy.

BCCI: It's really important.

Woman: You couldn't phone back later, could you? I'm rushed off my feet.

Turning in her chair, the woman knocks a mug over. A tiny amount of tea spills on the desk.

Woman: Now look what you've made me do!

BCCI: I can't. I'm 5000 miles away.

Woman: Mornings are our busiest time.

BCCI: Sorry, but I'm in a different time zone. It's hard to...

Woman: We've got a delivery due later on. It's really not a good time.

BCCI: Well, I apologise for that, but it's quite urgent. Like I say, it concerns the Champions League.

Woman: The printer broke this morning and Carla's called in sick. Do you think I should just drop everything?

BCCI: I'm sorry but this needs sorting today.

Woman: Anyway, you don't want me, you want Keith. Why didn't you ring Keith?

BCCI: I really don't know who I need to speak to. Please, could you just put me through to the right person?

Woman: Keith takes all the calls on Friday mornings. I take over in the afternoon, although I don't know if I'll have time today, with Carla being off.

BCCI: Okay, could you just put me through to this Keith, then, please?

Woman: Oh, I don't know how to transfer calls. We only got these phones a couple of years ago. The old ones were much better. Can you not just ring back?

BCCI: Please, could you just...

Woman: Oh, here's Keith. Just a minute, I'll hand you over.

BCCI: Okay, thank you.

The woman beckons over a shambling middle-aged man who has just walked through the door.

Woman: Keith, it's for you.

Keith: Oh, okay. Who is it?

Woman: I think it's the man about the printer. I don't know why he's ringing when we're so busy.

Keith: Hello?

BCCI: Hello, I'm from the BCCI. I have a very urgent matter to discuss regarding the Champions League.

Keith: I thought you were from the printer company. Ours is broken, you see.

BCCI: No, I'm from the BCCI.

Keith: Okay. Well, what can I do for you? If it involves printing, you'll have to phone back. The printer's not working at the moment.

BCCI: It's a legal issue, actually. I've just got word from our lawyers. Apparently they're very concerned that we're selling something as being a league of champions when not all the participants actually fit that description.

Keith: That does sound a bit off. What are you going to call it instead?

BCCI: No, we're still calling it the Champions League. We just need to justify the name. We were wondering if Somerset had won anything recently. Doesn't matter what.

Keith: Somerset are in it?

BCCI: Yes. Did you not know?

Keith: No, but you're in luck. This is Somerset County Cricket Club you've come through to.

BCCI: I know. Why do you think I phoned?

Keith: Well, I thought it was about the printer.

BCCI: No, it's about the Champions League. Tell me, have Somerset won anything recently? Are they the champions of anything?

Keith: No, they've been runners-up a few times. Will that do?

BCCI: No, they really need to be champions in some way.

Keith: The first XI beat the second XI during pre-season. They won a cake.

BCCI: Fine, that'll do. Goodbye.

Woman: What time is he coming? We're going to get further and further behind if he doesn't get that printer working pretty soon.

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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Comments have now been closed for this article

Posted by Dummy4 on (October 7, 2011, 21:55 GMT)

guys, I'm a huge fan of Somerset and I found this quite hilarious, I think some of these people need to lighten up a little

Posted by Dummy4 on (October 7, 2011, 18:50 GMT)

Wasn't it a dig at BCCI, instead of Somerset..?

Posted by Thomas on (October 7, 2011, 16:50 GMT)

@Kool Shunti - the reason the ECB didn't send a team last year wasn't arrogance, it was because the English season wasn't over. The English season was arranged before the Champions League so surely this is BCCI arrogance and big headedness to try and impose their dominance by forcing a foreign body to rearrange their domestic season for sheer greed. Great article Alex and good luck Somerset

Posted by avinash on (October 7, 2011, 14:46 GMT)

the point is BCCI never deals in phrases like , "please".."may you?"..etc...there are far too arrogant for it...

Posted by Samuel on (October 7, 2011, 14:14 GMT)

@ Rohan - you've obviously never seen us when it comes to finals!

Posted by Dummy4 on (October 7, 2011, 13:35 GMT)

This article indirectly makes fun of the BCCI 'cause they got even MI & KKR (3rd, 4th in IPL) in while all the other teams are finalists! Somerset is an excellent team, I'd put my money on either them or NSW Blues.

Posted by Raghunadha Sarma on (October 7, 2011, 13:32 GMT)

@sagir parkar... lol... you have made an excellent point... when did BCCI started using 'sorry' and 'please'???

Posted by Venkat on (October 7, 2011, 13:25 GMT)

@JG2704 - Buddy you got your facts wrong, SL was represented in the league phase. Sanath was got to beleive its true...if not watch the highlights :). Only the Pak team was not invited and the reasons are beyond the scope of cricket!!!

Posted by Philip on (October 7, 2011, 12:37 GMT)

I object to you comparing Somersets choking ability to that of South Africa. Somerset at least made the finals, so that still leaves South Africa as the King of Chokers!

Posted by Ali on (October 7, 2011, 12:22 GMT)

Good work here....quite funny actually. Although what i find surprising is that while 3 IPL teams were taken straight to the group stages, the champions of NZ, ENG, WI and SL had to play some qualifiers just so that another IPL team-KKR- could have a chance at playing in the league. This is utter nonsense...the tourney should be renamed as IPL-PART 2... :-/

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