The Surfer

At such times, the only hope lies with the newspapers. As far as cricket is concerned, though, they too are rapidly losing ground. Capable and intrepid reporters continue to uncover stories and publish hard truths. That is the stuff of journalism. Left to their own devices, they could provide a sound critique of Indian cricket. But, unfortunately, they are not. Instead, they are undermined by a board that doesn't feel the need to hire a media manager, disdained by a captain who didn't feel obliged to attend a press conference after the Mohali Test, overwhelmed by the sound and fury and hemmed in by experts.

Asked to name the big eaters in the current dressing room, Rohit Sharma says, “In the Ranji Trophy team, it would be Abhishek Nayar, and in the Indian team, Irfan Pathan.” Sharma himself is known to be a food enthusiast.

Nayar also figures in Agarkar’s list of dining table heavy-hitters. Vengsarkar names Shastri and Sachin Tendulkar. Bevan says, “The big fast bowlers were the best eaters. Glenn McGrath, Jason Gillespie... they didn’t mind a feed.”

''I was having lunch two days ago with the guy who makes his bat,'' said cricket-supply guru, Harry Solomons, who owns Kingsgrove Sports Centre, which once employed the Waugh brothers. ''Sachin's bats look wide, but they are regulation width. It's the thick edges that make it look bigger.

Endless meetings have failed to resolve key aspects of the competition: when it starts, how many teams it has, how players are chosen for it, whether franchises are privately owned. You cannot blame Australia for being cautious, the game's future is at stake here, but the time has arrived for tough, firm decision making. If the competition is to start next season, as most officials hope it will, Friday's CA board meeting is seen as the one which should produce the rubber stamp.

The problem, however, is that such sensible and practical scheduling is impossible because the BCCI allots matches on the basis of its much-pilloried (occasionally deservedly) rotation policy. While this automatically means that the best matches are not necessarily played at the best venues, it also means that a state association could get a match when it was least prepared for it.

New Zealand's cricket reputation has been seriously dented and the game is heading for major problems in this country if the Black Caps' fortunes cannot be quickly turned around. Cricket will lose its audience and suffer commercially. Bangladesh have clearly improved but this does not explain such an incredible turnaround in fortunes for the two sides.

Do our top players desperately need to succeed any more for New Zealand? I'm not sure they do. They may want to succeed but do they need to succeed? With the distraction of the IPL and Champions League, performing on low-profile New Zealand tours is not the priority.

Finally, the truth is that all is not lost with West Indies cricket, and in fact, just when we thought we could sink no further, the dangling carrot is the chance to move up the Test rankings -- ahead of Pakistan -- if indeed we perform creditably in the upcoming series.

While the bleached-blond-long-haired men have brought national interest to the region, the pair still remain unable to inspire their fellow state players to raise the bar on the domestic field.

Setting up nurseries of cricket is the unanimous answer.

In the first over of the third day, Tendulkar played two late leg-glances to get to his half-century. Then he hit two lusty pulls off Mitchell Johnson, Australia’s fastest bowler, and a man reckless enough to announce before the series began that the Indians were suspect against the short ball

I learnt from the next day’s papers that the last stages of his innings had been watched by, among others, the leader of the Opposition in the Karnataka state assembly, the Congress politician, A. Siddaramiah. That morning, Siddaramiah had gone to work hoping that the BJP government would be voted out, and that he would stake a claim to be chief minister. The plan was foiled when, with the aid of the police, the speaker enforced his decision to disqualify the defecting legislators.The thwarted leader now chose to leave for the Chinnaswamy Stadium, where, since Tendulkar was still at the crease, he knew he would find pleasure — and consolation.

Johnston was describing a curious dismissal in which Ian Botham’s inner thigh had brushed his stumps, dislodging a bail. ‘He just didn’t quite get his leg over,’ chipped in Agnew mischievously. Cue Johnston, a lover of schoolboy innuendo to rival Frankie Howerd, erupting in a Krakatoa of snorts, whimpers, sneezes and, finally, uncontrollable laughter. Listeners were similarly afflicted; motorists had to pull on to the hard shoulder to wipe away the tears.

The ‘Leg Over’ has since become a commentary classic. But, at the time, Johnston was aghast. ‘He thought he’d been unprofessional,’ says Agnew. ‘It was only the next day when we listened to it that we realised it was very funny.’