The Surfer

As might be expected from a novice, Sharma held nothing back, charging to the crease and mixing corkers with wides and no-balls. Youth knows nothing of mortality let alone fear. In his enthusiasm, he over-pitched and suffered as Matthew Hayden drove sumptuously. His first two overs cost 24 runs and the scoreboard was rattling along.

It is tempting to take the gloss off Saturday night's win by pointing to a pitch that was to cricket entertainment what William Shatner was to opera singing. It's also the sort of track that Kiwi trundlers of the Gavin Larsen ilk prosper on.

Ryder, 23, is keen to shed the party-boy tag and be recognised for his cricket but you get the impression nothing would keep him awake at night, especially not his mates from over the hill pulling his leg.

"Right now a lot of the boys in the Australian side are excited about maybe taking part in the IPL,” Symonds says. "But we can't quite work out what's going on with the chiefs at Cricket Australia, who seem to be trying to run interference by putting up a heap of red tape. To be brutally honest, as players we just can't understand the stance they've taken. We're all keen to have a hit if the tour of Pakistan gets called off, but Cricket Australia have played what looks like a bit of a trick shot.”

Over the years, for many, many years, selectors, most of them, have believed that they are the sacred cows of cricket. Maybe it is because the job is usually reserved for ex-players and most times for ex-great players why most of them, behave so.

A close associate of Symonds at Queensland narrates a chilling story. "Well, he got into a slight disagreement with a rugby player in South Africa," he says. "Let’s say they did not see eye to eye on a certain matter—How do you think Andrew sought to settle it? He said he’d prefer to handle it ‘man-to-man’, fight it out!"

Is Twenty20 really a salvation for a game that is struggling in some old strongholds, offering a thrilling new road ahead. Or is it sporting candy, a rush of excitement that invites a subsequent and depressing lull?

Had Sunil Gavaskar been leading the side in Sydney, there would have been hell to pay. His temperament and his track record would have guaranteed it ... Had Kapil Dev been in charge at Sydney, he’d have shrugged and got on with the game. A Saurav Ganguly would have thundered, “Damn the torpedoes —full speed ahead.” A Dravid would have sounded like Greg Chappell, issuing a 200-word statement which would have been translated into just one word: “Disappointed.” And Kumble? Well, he displayed an extraordinary ability to see the larger picture without succumbing to side issues.

England look a very useful side but they completely misread the pitch and did not play well at all. The Black Caps won't think this was a bad pitch - they'll love it to death - but it is a portable or "drop-in" pitch and it clearly hadn't been in long enough to be termed a quality pitch.

"I was texting Jesse before and he was asking if I'll be watching, and I said I'd have to go and find a pub somewhere to watch it.

I'm not fussed with what he had to say - he wasn't an angel himself was he? It was easy to ignore. I'm a chilled-out sort of guy and not much fazes me. I've heard it all before mate. I'm still working hard on the fitness. It is an issue. Getting fitter can't hurt my game.