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Zaltzman's Comedy Shows

The Ajit Agarkar factor

Jokes about the great Mumbaikar always go down well, as do digs at the BCCI

Andy Zaltzman
Andy Zaltzman
30-Oct-2013
I was fortunate enough to be in India for one of the most emotional occasions in its cricketing history - the retirement of one of my all-time cricketing heroes, an inspiration to his city, Mumbai, to the Indian nation, and to all cricket fans. Ajit Agarkar will no more grace the cricket fields of this, or any other, planet.
The timing was fortunate, not merely for the once-in-a-lifetime experience of seeing the public reaction to the redoubtable ODI stalwart hanging up his bowling arm for good, but because, in my stand-up show, I had a routine featuring both Agarkar and his Mumbai and India team-mate, Sachin Tendulkar, whose own final shuffle into the record books had its thunder rudely stolen by the great allrounder.
That such a routine could work revealed the delight/horror of performing stand-up in India (delete according to whether or not you are a cricket fan) (which I assume you are, if you are reading this) (and if you are not, you should be) (seriously, you are missing out) (you are doing yourself a gross personal injustice).
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Three sheep in the back of a rickshaw

This week's vignettes from the streets of Bangalore and Mumbai are oddly cattle-themed

Andy Zaltzman
Andy Zaltzman
18-Oct-2013
Indian cricket is understandably dominated at the moment by the impending retirement of Sachin Tendulkar, its greatest player, its era-spanning icon, its one-man statistical Vesuvius, whose numbers will be excavated and marvelled at by archaeologists in millennia to come.
I have been doing a routine in my Cricket Versus The World stand-up comedy show about the Mumbai Master's quest for his 100th international hundred, and the audiences' reaction has shown both the often-adulatory affection for Tendulkar, and the sense that his public, like the man himself, desperately wanted a suitable culmination to his sporting story.
The 100th hundred could have provided it, but did not, as the brilliance of his World Cup batting faded into an elongated quest of faltering form and missed opportunities in a team that experienced a shuddering come-down from its rapturous pinnacle.
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The most cricketous area in the world

The tour kicks off in Mumbai, with a visit to the maidans, where all of cricket is displayed in a microcosm

Andy Zaltzman
Andy Zaltzman
10-Oct-2013
This is my third trip to India. The first two were principally for cricket - for the World Cup in 2011, and for two of England's Tests late last year. This time I am here for comedy, to attempt to make people laugh with a stand-up show encompassing both cricket and the renowned planet upon which it is predominantly played, Earth.
My tour began in Mumbai, a city that might not feature too highly on any travel magazines' lists of Most Relaxing Chilled-Out Holiday Destinations, but which is in many ways the epicentre of modern cricket. Last Sunday, in search of another taste of India's cricketing passion, I went to the part of Mumbai that can potently claim to be the most cricketous area on the planet.
Within a few hundred yards of each other lie the Oval, Cross and Azad maidans, the vast open spaces that provide recreational respite from the merciless honk of traffic and the relentless churn of Mumbai life. (They also provide, I discovered rapidly, a steady supply of potential customers for opportunistic map sellers, self-appointed tour guides and other hawkish retailers who can spot a lone tourist with the naked eye from space.)
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