"When I first joined Middlesex there was a big cards school which would start up when it rained with quite a lot of money going down ... now with all the public schoolboys in the Middlesex team, they play Scrabble."

Now we know why Mark Ramprakash abandoned Middlesex straight after his benefit - he can't play Scrabble. Some at Lord's might have a few 20-point words they could devise to describe their former captain, though