'The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing'

Also in this week's Twitter round-up: cavemen, dominos, and emoticons from Tendulkar

Alex Bowden07-Jun-2012

Dale Steyn: hardcore environmentalist collecting used bats for firewood Getty Images

The comeback
Kevin Pietersen came out of retirement this week. He's still not playing one-day internationals, but he did risk the England team's credit card roulette again. If you're not familiar with this game, all you need to know is that the loser pays for dinner. Unsurprisingly, fortune frowned on Kev. After reluctantly footing the bill, he immediately retired once again. But was there any swearing? Matt Prior was our man at the scene.

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"no swearing to be fair. Hit the table a little bit and kicked a chair over when we left but that's to be expected!"
@MattPrior13

The free time
Regarding Pietersen's other retirement, Mark Butcher had this to say.

"at least Kp will be able to turn out more for his beloved Surrey now….."
@markbutcher72

Cutting punctuation there, Mark.

The caveman
Dale Steyn's been looking on the bright side.

"Taking Earth hour to a new level 2night... Electricity blown so we doing it caveman style! Fire and candles!"
@DaleSteyn62

Those prehistoric humans and their love of candles, eh? They were forever dotting them around their caves to create subtle, moody lighting effects that better complemented their mammoth-skin rugs.

The reflexes
Stuart Broad has a boast and some advice for UK residents regarding a particularly annoying advert.

"I reckon i can mute the 'goooo coompareee' adverts in 0.2 seconds flat. You can do the same with structured practise."
@StuartBroad8

He's the lucky one. That ad's on particularly heavy rotation during Test matches. He's safe out there on the pitch.

The rock n' roll lifestyle
A few Test caps and Ed Cowan's gone all showbiz.

"Completely blown away by quality of Canberra's farmers market."
@eddiecowan

Ryan Sidebottom's living the dream as well.

"Watching Lewis on sky plus ..whilst eating a white chocolate Magnum :) #yumyum‬ . No idea who's dunnit"
@RyanSidebottom

The loss
Graham Onions has taken 34 wickets at 12.61 in the County Championship, but still hasn't won a match. This particular defeat really smarted, though.

"Devastated...just lost at dominoes for the first time in 29 years"
@BunnyOnions

The manly tipple
Francois Du Plessis went on holiday to the Seychelles.

"Had a lovely day on another island exploring and some more snorkelling.now for my favourite....malibu"
@faf1307

Do you want an umbrella and a straw in that, Francois?

The self-serving parent
Graeme Swann's son lost the battle for the remote control.

"What's that wilf, you've had enough of rastamouse? You want the world superbikes on instead? Ok, you're the boss..."
@Swannyg66

The eating disorder
It's a pressing question; one that we've all been asking - has Damien Fleming, at the age of 42, finally learnt how to eat souvlaki?

"Great to see at 42 years of age still can't consume a souvlaki #atesomepaper‬ #unravelledeverywhere‬ #sauceonjeans"
@bowlologist

You should probably steer well clear of lobster, Damien.

The grudge match
Yuvraj Singh and Ishant Sharma are keeping sharp by playing cricket mano e mano.

"Me and ishant playd a 4 over tennis bal match He hit me for 6 sixes but I won the game by hitting the 7th six of his last bal Hard luk ishi"
@YUVSTRONG12 (Yuvraj Singh)

Was scoring just in sixes? No singles? No leg-byes?

The jubilee celebration
Rodney Hogg's no royalist.

"60 years on the "throne". I spent 8 minutes this morning and thought that was long enough."
@RMHogg

Nor's Northamptonshire's Jack Brooks.

"The Queen comfortably stole my Birthday thunder this year..."
@BrooksyFerret

Nando's Watch
What is it with cricketers and Nando's? Let's keep tabs on them.

In Bangladesh.

"I have to say that Dhaka is treating me well!nothing like nando's for lunch!"
@Roela52 (Roelof van der Merwe)