The Modi and Mody show

In an astonishing display of bravado, openness and poor spelling, Lalit Modi has revealed on Twitter the nitty-gritty of how the BCCI systematically brought down the ICL. He started off by saying that the BCCI arm-twisted every cricket board and the ICC to change there constitution, and added that cricket associations were told not to give there grounds for fear of loosing international matches, and that he would reveal all on his website soon.

The BCCI responded to these allegations in its characteristic off-hand manner. "Hmmm..." BCCI president Shashank Manohar trailed off, going into his usual semi-sleepy-highly-disinterested state. "This is just a classic case of Lalit Modi trying to promote his blog. And what is all this nonsense about arm-twisting? It's nothing new. Arm-twisting is legal, actually. See the ICC rule book. Up to 15 degrees, arm-twisting is allowed. Only beyond that, an umpire can call a bowler for a no-ball."

In similar news, Himanshu Mody, the business head of Zee Sports, which ran the ICL, has said the league could be revived "if everything falls in place". He also said that he was waiting for Lalit Modi to reveal more.

To which Manohar retorted: "We are ready for all this. In fact, the BCCI is one step ahead. We are working closely with Ryan Giggs to get a super-injunction against Lalit Modi." He continued slowly: "Lalit is in London now, it seems. You know why? Well, Steven Spielberg has hit upon this novel idea to promote the Thompson and Thomson characters in the new Tintin movie using Modi and Mody. This is just media hype, I tell you.

"The BCCI did not do anything wrong. The BCCI is always clean and transparent. In fact, the BCCI's nickname is Glass, and by saying that, I have given Saint Gobain some free publicity. I will cash in on that. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and see how I can shut down this gully cricket league." He ambled away.

Meanwhile, after nearly three months, the New Zealand cricket team finally has a new captain. Ross Taylor will be the man who will lead the Black Caps. The process was a tedious one, with Brendon McCullum running Taylor close. Said the coach, John Wright, "It was neck and neck all the way but we were swayed by Taylor's form and his decision-making when he led the side on a few occasions.

"He made a few subtle field changes, like placing one man in the stands over deep midwicket when Sehwag was on a rampage. The trick clearly worked as Sehwag was only able to hit boundaries on the off side after that," he remarked.

Taylor was clearly overjoyed. "I can't believe this!" he said. "This is fantastic! I'm finally going to lead the Rajasthan Royals after Warnie's retirement! It's a dream come true." He wheeled away in excitement.

The press, meanwhile, had a field day, with the New Zealand Herald running the headline, "Taylor stitches it up" and the Time coming up with a picture of Ronald McDonald with a sad face and the caption "McCullum - I'm not loving it."

Taylor succeeds Daniel Vettori, who is New Zealand's most successful captain ever, with a brilliant record of many wins from many more games in Tests and quite a few wins from a fair number of games in one-day internationals. Vettori, however will continue to serve as New Zealand's best bowler, not-quite-best batsman, champion spectacle-wearer and beard-sporter, ex-captain-who-takes-all-the-decisions-anyway, and future captain.