That it didn't happen, given England's track record with such things.
"Cricket is no longer so boring": a Dutch newspaper the day after Netherlands beat England. Well said, though it forgot to add that neither are the Dutch any longer a bunch of clog-wearing, pot-smoking, tall, blond, pancake-eating, flatlands stomping, fjords-traversing, road-cycling, bread-baking people.
"Clogs 1, Clots 0": The Sun, as ever, takes the narrower, short-term perspective.
Rubel Hossain, of Bangladesh, who not only thinks this is the 80s, but also thinks he is West Indian. Else, what is with the bouncer barrage?
Undergone by all viewers who suddenly, rudely, realised there are no such things really as "DLF maximums" or "Citi moments of success". In the real world, they are called sixes or great catches and run-outs.
Stuart Broad's infamous last over against Netherlands embodied two time-honoured Pakistani traits. The young Broad hit a magnificent yorker length, preventing any boundaries and keeping Netherlands under pressure, much as the two Ws so often did. Unfortunately, in missing three run-outs and dropping a catch in six balls, he also fielded like a Pakistani.
Incensed that young Broad had stolen their thunder - and West Indies had tried to against Australia - Pakistan roared back against England to prove that there is no worse fielding entity in the world. Their fielders were nutmegged by a bloke 70 yards away, they were beaten by spin, they dropped five catches, and turned ones regularly into threes. Had they not taken the field at all, they might have conceded fewer runs.
The AAA's (Australian Anglers Association) gain.
Chris Gayle, for smashing Australia all over and out of the park and making Brett Lee feel and look as quick as Mark Ealham. Gayle's boundary-heavy 50-ball 88, including one monster six to monster all others, all but took West Indies to the second round. In all fairness, though, Gayle could have been bowled for a first-ball duck and it'd still be the most bling innings of any week.
Not to be out-blinged by mate Gayle, Kevin Pietersen hit back against Pakistan. Having missed the first-game loss to Netherlands, KP put pain and injury aside and country ahead by putting Pakistan to the sword with a 38-ball 58 to set up a crucial win. A painkiller-fuelled Ashes awaits as a prize, as does, surely, a knighthood.
Shahrukh Khan, Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty, Katrina Kaif: doesn't Twenty20 come with Bollywood stars free?
Fake IPL Player
"It would be sad if we don't make it, but I have never attached too much importance to Twenty20 cricket, as it is fun cricket. I mean it is more for entertainment, even if it is international cricket. It is all for the crowd."
Younis Khan puts the loss to England into perspective. Unfortunately, it's the wrong perspective.
"In this form it is better to take it easy and have fun. It is like WWF."
Younis tries to explain Twenty20 some more. Exactly like WWE, in fact, what with the steroids, the pumped-up bodies, the crazy soap-opera storylines, the fixed matches, crazy chairmen with no qualms about nepotism... oh wait, did he mean Pakistan cricket or Twenty20?
Scotland's "match" against New Zealand, which was reduced by rain to seven overs a side.
Ireland's six-wicket win over Bangladesh, to guarantee their spot in the Super Eights. They have now beaten Bangladesh in a Twenty20 international and an ODI. What chances of a Test win within the next two years?
Ajantha Mendis' three-wicket spell against Australia, which not only knocked out the Aussies, but proved that they play spin as well as the English do opening ceremonies.
Was a Dutchman.
Osman Samiuddin is Pakistan editor of Cricinfo