If Bazball is dead, how come it's winning all these awards?
It's that time of year when we look back and hand out prizes with no fear, favour or discernment whatsoever
Alan Gardner and Andrew Fidel Fernando
30-Dec-2025 • 6 hrs ago
England ran till they had stitches in their sides • Robbie Stephenson/PA Images via Getty Images
Welcome, dear valued reader, to the Light Roller's annual awards. It's once again that special time of year when the team pulls a series of names out of a Santa hat and gets AI to write the entries. Please enjoy this bumper helping of festive slop, while we go and stuff ourselves at the buffet!
Tony Greig Motivational Speaking Award: Shukri Conrad
There are some scenarios where it's perfectly okay to attempt a Tony Greig impression, such as when eulogising those "little Sri Lankans" or whipping up some "cornage in the cor pork", Twelfth Man-style. But there's one specific area in which you absolutely do not want to channel Greig - particularly if you're doing so in a South African accent and referring to non-white opposition. "I could have chosen a better word because it left it open for people to put their own context to it," admitted Conrad, in what wasn't quite a grovelling apology. Top tip from the Light Roller: when "their own context" can potentially refer to race relations during the apartheid era, you're advised to steer well clear.
There are some scenarios where it's perfectly okay to attempt a Tony Greig impression, such as when eulogising those "little Sri Lankans" or whipping up some "cornage in the cor pork", Twelfth Man-style. But there's one specific area in which you absolutely do not want to channel Greig - particularly if you're doing so in a South African accent and referring to non-white opposition. "I could have chosen a better word because it left it open for people to put their own context to it," admitted Conrad, in what wasn't quite a grovelling apology. Top tip from the Light Roller: when "their own context" can potentially refer to race relations during the apartheid era, you're advised to steer well clear.
Baz McCullum Award for Saving Test Cricket: Bazball
Some called it the greatest Test series since the 2005 Ashes. Some described it as a fitting tribute to Virat Kohli following his retirement from Tests. Some said that drawing 2-2 with a transitional India team who had been whitewashed at home by New Zealand and would go on to be whitewashed at home by South Africa wasn't actually a great result… But what a time we had! Five Tests that all went to the final day. Shubman Gill up there with Bradman. England gallivanting towards 374 at The Oval. Chris Woakes batting in a sling. Mohammed Siraj the hero. England (and Bazball) lost, but Test cricket (and Bazball) just as surely won.
Some called it the greatest Test series since the 2005 Ashes. Some described it as a fitting tribute to Virat Kohli following his retirement from Tests. Some said that drawing 2-2 with a transitional India team who had been whitewashed at home by New Zealand and would go on to be whitewashed at home by South Africa wasn't actually a great result… But what a time we had! Five Tests that all went to the final day. Shubman Gill up there with Bradman. England gallivanting towards 374 at The Oval. Chris Woakes batting in a sling. Mohammed Siraj the hero. England (and Bazball) lost, but Test cricket (and Bazball) just as surely won.
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Allen Stanford Award for Devaluing Test Cricket: Bazball
No proper warm-up matches. Disregarding all the helpful advice from ubiquitous former England pros to have been pantsed in Australia. Losing inside two days. Taking a beach holiday in the middle of a tour. Trying to enjoy themselves! Bazball down under was supposed to rekindle England's Ashes fires in Australia, but Ben Stokes and McCullum succeeded only in burning down their own house. The resultant conflagration was an affront to the history and tradition of Test match cricket, making everyone who saw it want to tear out their eyes and/or tune into coverage of the IPL auction instead.
No proper warm-up matches. Disregarding all the helpful advice from ubiquitous former England pros to have been pantsed in Australia. Losing inside two days. Taking a beach holiday in the middle of a tour. Trying to enjoy themselves! Bazball down under was supposed to rekindle England's Ashes fires in Australia, but Ben Stokes and McCullum succeeded only in burning down their own house. The resultant conflagration was an affront to the history and tradition of Test match cricket, making everyone who saw it want to tear out their eyes and/or tune into coverage of the IPL auction instead.
Biggest Letdown: Bazball
"Run towards the danger," spake St Brendon of Dunners, way back in the Covid-laden mists of 2022. And in this ongoing Ashes, run they did. Oh how they ran! They hurtled, full tilt, as if danger was a wheel of cheese and they would only know true freedom pursuing it breathlessly down a steep, tussocked hill. On the first day England got bowled out for 172 inside 33 overs but did they stop powering towards the danger? God, no. Next innings: 164 all out inside 35. In Brisbane? "More danger," screamed England. "More!"
"Run towards the danger," spake St Brendon of Dunners, way back in the Covid-laden mists of 2022. And in this ongoing Ashes, run they did. Oh how they ran! They hurtled, full tilt, as if danger was a wheel of cheese and they would only know true freedom pursuing it breathlessly down a steep, tussocked hill. On the first day England got bowled out for 172 inside 33 overs but did they stop powering towards the danger? God, no. Next innings: 164 all out inside 35. In Brisbane? "More danger," screamed England. "More!"
Some are already predicting England will not desist in Melbourne, or Sydney either, and will chase danger all the way to the ends of 5-0.
Perhaps then, finally, to rest.
And Stokesy wept, because there was no more danger to run to.
Bazballer of the Year: Travis Head
Bashing balls, drinking beers, saying "mate" a lot - but for the Montague vs Capulet-style melodrama between the England and Australia camps, McCullum and Head were meant to be. The chillest of all chill dads guiding the most precocious pummeller of the ball? The world ain't good enough to give us that.
Runner-up: Rishabh Pant
Bashing balls, drinking beers, saying "mate" a lot - but for the Montague vs Capulet-style melodrama between the England and Australia camps, McCullum and Head were meant to be. The chillest of all chill dads guiding the most precocious pummeller of the ball? The world ain't good enough to give us that.
Runner-up: Rishabh Pant
Gesture of the Year: Handshakes
Once the only permissible way of Victorian men displaying their full range of emotions, in 2025 the humble handshake graduated to full-on nation state-destabilising psyops manoeuvre. See its deployment during the dying embers of the Old Trafford Test, when England succeeded only in ragebaiting themselves with their attempts to end the game early while in the process denying Ravindra Jadeja and Washington Sundar hard-earned hundreds (another black mark for Bazball there). The absence of handshakes between India and Pakistan was then the focus of much anguished commentary during the Asia Cup. If only everyone could just agree to shake hands and move on…
Once the only permissible way of Victorian men displaying their full range of emotions, in 2025 the humble handshake graduated to full-on nation state-destabilising psyops manoeuvre. See its deployment during the dying embers of the Old Trafford Test, when England succeeded only in ragebaiting themselves with their attempts to end the game early while in the process denying Ravindra Jadeja and Washington Sundar hard-earned hundreds (another black mark for Bazball there). The absence of handshakes between India and Pakistan was then the focus of much anguished commentary during the Asia Cup. If only everyone could just agree to shake hands and move on…
Nothing to See Here Award for Non-Event of the Year: Asia Cup trophy presentation
No danger of any handshakes on this one, as broadcasters, sponsors and players were left milling about uncertainly for an hour and a half after the conclusion of the final. A man wearing white gloves brought the Asia Cup out onto the field… only to then do an Abe Simpson and head straight back off with it. Eventually, Simon Doull announced to a bewildered worldwide audience that India wouldn't be coming up to receive their trophy. This was because of the identity of the man due to present it (more on him later) - which had been known since elections for Asian Cricket Council chair were held in February 2024. India's players posed afterwards with an imaginary trophy, while the whole non-event rumbled on off field. Rarely has high-wire geopolitical posturing been made to look so dull.
No danger of any handshakes on this one, as broadcasters, sponsors and players were left milling about uncertainly for an hour and a half after the conclusion of the final. A man wearing white gloves brought the Asia Cup out onto the field… only to then do an Abe Simpson and head straight back off with it. Eventually, Simon Doull announced to a bewildered worldwide audience that India wouldn't be coming up to receive their trophy. This was because of the identity of the man due to present it (more on him later) - which had been known since elections for Asian Cricket Council chair were held in February 2024. India's players posed afterwards with an imaginary trophy, while the whole non-event rumbled on off field. Rarely has high-wire geopolitical posturing been made to look so dull.
"I'm Not Him" Moment of the Year: Wiaan Mulder
Fair play to South Africa's stand-in captain, who reached lunch on day two in Bulawayo on 367 not out, looked at the roll call of batters to have scored more in a Test innings - Brian Lara, Matthew Hayden, Mahela Jayawardene and, er, that's it - and decided that was not a podium on which he belonged. From one confirmed set of non-legends to another, we salute you, Wiaan.
Fair play to South Africa's stand-in captain, who reached lunch on day two in Bulawayo on 367 not out, looked at the roll call of batters to have scored more in a Test innings - Brian Lara, Matthew Hayden, Mahela Jayawardene and, er, that's it - and decided that was not a podium on which he belonged. From one confirmed set of non-legends to another, we salute you, Wiaan.
Selena Gomez of the year: Mohsin Naqvi
After India refused to receive the Asia Cup trophy from Pakistan's interior minister, Mohsin Naqvi played the pop-star card. I got what you want, he told the India team. "When you're ready come and get it," he said, perhaps winking.
After India refused to receive the Asia Cup trophy from Pakistan's interior minister, Mohsin Naqvi played the pop-star card. I got what you want, he told the India team. "When you're ready come and get it," he said, perhaps winking.
Na-na-na-na, Minister Naqvi. Na-na-na-na indeed.
Juiciest India vs Pakistan Subplot
Did it really happen? Did the captain of the India men's team and the captain of the Pakistan men's team, you know… do I have to say it? You're making me blush. Did they…[whispers] … shake hands? Because there are rumours, okay? Suggestions that, behind closed doors and away from cameras, there was some [leans in] palm-to-palm contact. Maybe some up-and-down motion also [giggles]. It's just a rumour.
Did it really happen? Did the captain of the India men's team and the captain of the Pakistan men's team, you know… do I have to say it? You're making me blush. Did they…[whispers] … shake hands? Because there are rumours, okay? Suggestions that, behind closed doors and away from cameras, there was some [leans in] palm-to-palm contact. Maybe some up-and-down motion also [giggles]. It's just a rumour.
What will happen next? Will they? Won't they? Gaaaawd. Those two are just gonna keep us guessing, aren't they?
Alan Gardner is a deputy editor at ESPNcricinfo. Andrew Fidel Fernando is a senior writer at ESPNcricinfo