'Mind the gap'

George Mikes, the Hungarian born British author, wrote in How to be a Brit: "The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labour bore fruit."

It's something I thought of soon after landing at Heathrow airport and headed to a snacks counter to gulp some tea. That particular offering wasn't as bad as Mikes made it out but again anything hot that tasted remotely like tea would have done the trick at the time. Close to ten hours of grogginess needed treatment.

This is my third visit to this country, yet nothing seems to have changed about Heathrow. In 1990 I remember being overwhelmed with the abundance of information available - direction boards, announcements, pamphlets, help desks – and nothing’s changed. "In case you're lost please contact this number,"said a board towards the exit, exhibiting the digits in bright red. It will be interesting to find out how many people actually get lost in this city?

Onto the Underground, that uber-organised transport system, where pre-recorded messages constantly hammer into you to "mind the gap" between the platform and the train. I can imagine the laughter a similar announcement would prompt in a local train in Mumbai, where one has far more serious things to mind than that pesky gap. That minor irritation apart, though, it's a most joyous experience, passing by stations that one traded while playing Monopoly the board game. I alighted at King’s Cross, platform 1 and not 9 ¾ as Harry Potter would have, and am handed a free copy of the local newspaper.

I sift through it and learn that India's touring cricketers have had a "good work-out" against Sussex at Hove. England's one-day side are being pasted for playing an "anachronistic" brand of cricket but Lewis Hamilton and Jamie Murray are providing plenty of cheer. Another of Mikes’s sayings comes to mind: "Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game." The Indians, though, it’s often said, think cricket is the only game.