Usman Khan: 'Where I come from, there's no support behind me; the cricket I've played is on merit'

I've played the PSL for three years but haven't had the chance to get an extended run. So whenever I play, I keep in mind that this may well be my last match. That's the mentality I bring to my game, that if I don't perform here, I might not get the next game. That probably means I have intensity every time I bat.

I belong to a village in Sheikhupura called Farooqabad. My region was Sialkot, and when I watched the players there I thought I wouldn't get an opportunity there. My brother advised me to move to Karachi where I'd get a lot more opportunities. I moved to Karachi in 2012, where I worked extremely hard to make my name. I played for Pakistan cricket club where Saifi bhai [Sarfaraz Ahmed] was my captain. I performed but couldn't get an opportunity to play for my district.

When I got a chance to keep and open, I topped the charts, and then enjoyed success in Ramzan Cricket, where I had the chance to make my name. I scored a number of hundreds there, and played a tournament at the Moin Khan academy, where I won the Player of the Tournament award, and Nadeem Omar drafted me into the PSL.

I always had aspirations to play for Pakistan. But I also thought if someone else had nailed a place as opener at the top of the order for 4-5 years, I'd be wasting my time. That was also the case with the Karachi side, so I moved to the UAE. I performed well there, and was the Player of the Tournament in the T10. When you're a UAE player, you can play the Canada league or other such leagues, you get opportunities as an Associate cricketer more easily.

But after making the switch to the UAE, I thought I wouldn't be picked in the PSL because I'm now an overseas cricketer. I never thought I'd enjoy the success I have now.

That first innings in the PSL was significant for me to become popular and get name recognition. After that, I didn't get a shot in the PSL in 2022, but I didn't get disheartened. I tried to continue my cricket in Dubai. In Dubai, most of the tournaments that happen are on TV. I try to perform on TV so people watch me. I have the flashy shots as well as a proper playing style. And if you perform on TV where you're visible you get an opportunity somewhere or other.

I played for a season in the UAE in 2021. At the time I wasn't made any promises by the UAE about becoming a national cricketer for them. But when I scored the fastest hundred in the PSL last year, they said we'll give you a contract if you play for the UAE as a local player. I agreed. That allows me to play the ILT20 and the T10 as a local player which opens doors. I was in the central contract list for the UAE. That means you need an NOC from your board to play overseas cricket. And the UAE grants that easily, so I play wherever I get an offer.

In Pakistan, lobbying and contacts make a huge difference to how many opportunities you get and how early you get them. The cricket I've played, I've played on merit, I don't have any such connections. In Pakistan, if someone powerful speaks up for you, you're much more likely to come to prominence. I don't think you get an opportunity early on in Pakistan despite performances unless you have someone influential to speak for you or a group who stands up for you. Otherwise you won't get chances.

I have no idea, because where I'm from, there's no support behind me, nor anyone to call for my selection. I did have a dream to play the PSL though, regardless of whether I play as a local or overseas player. So I'd like to give huge thanks to Ali Tareen [Multan Sultans owner] for picking me as an overseas player. But it's all up to the selectors. I still have 14 months left before I qualify for the UAE, but I told Waqar [Younis] bhai if I had guarantees that I'd get chances to play in Pakistan for my region or the national side, then it's only natural for me to be tempted.

But as you know, if you don't have certainty, then it's hard to commit. I've seen the media talk about me now, but I'd always been clear if I don't get the chance to play for Pakistan, then I'd like to play for the UAE and showcase my talent. But at the same time, we do have responsibilities to our families and financial burdens we have to bear in mind. No one is safe in these economic times, so having financial security is hugely important to me.

I worked my regular job alongside any cricket I played. I worked as a security guard and a storekeeper in the UAE in 2022 because the UAE had granted me a work visa. So I worked and played some domestic cricket alongside that.

Those games don't have official T20 status but there are tournaments between multinational companies that take place there. The goal for me was to spend as much time as possible in the UAE to allow me to complete the three-year residency period. Then in 2022, I played the T10 which set me up for a deal at the BPL, and then the ILT20 and the PSL.

In Quetta, if you performed well, you would get opportunities, but when you failed once or twice, you might get told you're not good enough at this level. When you tell a player that, it mentally kills them. The coaches you play under make a huge difference, and playing for Andy Flower and Mohammad Rizwan was fantastic for me. At Multan, they never demotivated a player even if they were dropping me. They'd take you aside and explain why there wasn't a spot in the starting line-up for you.

When I didn't play four games for Multan this year, Abdul Rehman [the coach] bhai told me my time would come, and to be mentally ready for that. That gives a player something to look forward to instead of falling away. Here at MS, the culture is such everyone is in it together. If someone wins the Player of the Match or Player of the Tournament, the money will be distributed among the whole team. It's not just Rizwan or Iftikhar who are champions if they win, we all are. They tell us it's the hard work of all of us, and this matters greatly.

In some ways they're similar, in terms of their tactics and how they want to win games. Saifi bhai is a little more emotional and at times tenses up. Rizwan bhai never blames a player or scolds them if they've gone for runs. No one gets told they've cost the team a game. Strategically they're not dissimilar, but they way to they react emotionally and psychologically to on-field events can be quite different.

Like I said, when I played with Quetta. the situation was such that if you performed, you were respected and regarded as valuable. But if you didn't perform, you remained stressed mentally all the time, because you worried about whether you'd get a chance to play the next match. For a player, this is a huge deal. If a player doesn't have fear of being dropped, that is crucial to a player's mindset. Since I've come to MS, Rizwan told me, "you're not a parchi or a substandard player so you don't need to play with fear. We know what kind of player you are." And that has freed me up.

I've played against Babar and observed how he builds an innings, when he decides to accelerate. And when I batted with Rizwan, I was observing him and trying to learn from him. His mindset was such that even if he scores 50 in 40 balls or so, the next 50 runs or so come much quicker. The 96 I scored this year was the same. Batting after scoring 50 is very easy for me. That's in my nature, and this has held true wherever I've played cricket and at whatever level.

If you look at the games I scored a hundred, look at the early phases of my innings. I'm batting on 24 off 22, or 16 off 14, not starting especially quickly. But once I feel some bowler is there for the taking, I can sense that opportunity well. Because I feel I have a very wide range of shots, and so I don't need to rely on one particular shot for my runs.

In the final, I just want to play the innings that gives my team the trophy. The final is very easy for me in a way. The cricket I've played until now, my mentality is this might be my last match. And every innings is an audition to get the next gig. And thus it feels like it's my first and last match at the same time.

Yes, obviously. All the people who now recognise me and support me, I want to leave them with a great innings. I've been thinking for the last two days how I can win my team the final. It's a big competition. To win, you have to struggle.