So long Shoaib, goodbye Colly
Each IPL is replaced by another, full of developments stunning and new. What better time to look back at things and people we'll miss from the previous editions?
Sidharth Monga
18-Mar-2010
Pretty in purple: no more will KKR be all satiny and slippery • Associated Press
Black and gold
Yes, that thing of beauty, the shiny black-and-gold Kolkata Knight Riders shirt, has given way to an even more beautiful, nipple-twisting, light-reflecting purple and gold. The lack of controversies and attention-craving measures leading up to the tournament had left Kolkata fans worried, but the purple shirt arrived in time to let people know all was fine in the camp. Never mind the faithful fans who bought truckloads of black-and-gold shirts and will now want a refund.
Yes, that thing of beauty, the shiny black-and-gold Kolkata Knight Riders shirt, has given way to an even more beautiful, nipple-twisting, light-reflecting purple and gold. The lack of controversies and attention-craving measures leading up to the tournament had left Kolkata fans worried, but the purple shirt arrived in time to let people know all was fine in the camp. Never mind the faithful fans who bought truckloads of black-and-gold shirts and will now want a refund.
The vendetta against the ICL
At one point it felt like people who watched the ICL were banned from watching the IPL. This year, though, we have the likes of Ambati Rayudu and R Sathish winning matches; Sunil Gavaskar can finally commentate while son Rohan plays; and even Russel Arnold has been welcomed into the box. Makes one wonder if the League has gone soft, exhibiting the first signs of complacence that could lead to its downfall.
At one point it felt like people who watched the ICL were banned from watching the IPL. This year, though, we have the likes of Ambati Rayudu and R Sathish winning matches; Sunil Gavaskar can finally commentate while son Rohan plays; and even Russel Arnold has been welcomed into the box. Makes one wonder if the League has gone soft, exhibiting the first signs of complacence that could lead to its downfall.
John Buchanan
And his laptop. And Matthew Mott, his sidekick. We need some people to reinforce the time-proven fact that cricket is a complicated game that mortals like captains cannot understand. Like he does with his movies, Shah Rukh Khan has attempted to dumb down an intellectual, even nerdy, game by sacking Buck. Shah Rukh, be a man.
And his laptop. And Matthew Mott, his sidekick. We need some people to reinforce the time-proven fact that cricket is a complicated game that mortals like captains cannot understand. Like he does with his movies, Shah Rukh Khan has attempted to dumb down an intellectual, even nerdy, game by sacking Buck. Shah Rukh, be a man.
Paul Collingwood and Glenn McGrath
Oh, sorry, even their team didn't want them last year. Nonetheless, they were inspirational, reassuring figures on the bench, er, in the dugout. Pidge particularly for matches when Delhi Daredevils played sides with more than one Englishman in them. He could always make a prediction or three.
Oh, sorry, even their team didn't want them last year. Nonetheless, they were inspirational, reassuring figures on the bench, er, in the dugout. Pidge particularly for matches when Delhi Daredevils played sides with more than one Englishman in them. He could always make a prediction or three.
Akon
Apparently they don't know how many Akon fans in India were holding their breaths for a full year, hoping and praying that their favourite singer would be able to sync his lip movements to canned music for their pleasure. Disappointment is thy fate, listener, because Akon will not be performing at the IPL this time. Instead, though the hip-hop great was recently in the country, he merely synced his visit such that he could record a song for a movie roughly around the same time as the start of the tournament. What a tease.
Apparently they don't know how many Akon fans in India were holding their breaths for a full year, hoping and praying that their favourite singer would be able to sync his lip movements to canned music for their pleasure. Disappointment is thy fate, listener, because Akon will not be performing at the IPL this time. Instead, though the hip-hop great was recently in the country, he merely synced his visit such that he could record a song for a movie roughly around the same time as the start of the tournament. What a tease.
Shoaib Akhtar
Yes, I know the IPL franchises screwed the Pakistanis over, but that can't stop us missing good old Shoaib. He was a good, fast lad. He entertained. He never played again. Tut tut.
Yes, I know the IPL franchises screwed the Pakistanis over, but that can't stop us missing good old Shoaib. He was a good, fast lad. He entertained. He never played again. Tut tut.
Fake IPL Player
Apparently he/she doesn't want his/her player acquaintances to get into trouble. Rubbish. That shouldn't come in the way of an anonymous person throwing light on the sex lives of fictional cricketers whose nicknames don't leave anything to the imagination. So come back, Fake IPL Player.
Apparently he/she doesn't want his/her player acquaintances to get into trouble. Rubbish. That shouldn't come in the way of an anonymous person throwing light on the sex lives of fictional cricketers whose nicknames don't leave anything to the imagination. So come back, Fake IPL Player.
Ravindra Jadeja
Evil. Pure evil. Wanted more money and tried to negotiate with other franchises once his contract with Rajasthan was up. By all means, our weak franchises need protection against such divisive forces. Sack the lot of the ingrates.
Evil. Pure evil. Wanted more money and tried to negotiate with other franchises once his contract with Rajasthan was up. By all means, our weak franchises need protection against such divisive forces. Sack the lot of the ingrates.
The slide
Old age is a second childhood. This truism was proved by our commentators in the last IPL, who reconciled with the child within (while pushing real kids out of the way) and screamed in glee as they whooshed down portable slides placed by the boundary - all in the name of entertainment. If the broadcasters cared about their employees' mental well-being, they would provide slides here in India too. But they clearly don't, which, in turn, explains rather a lot.
Old age is a second childhood. This truism was proved by our commentators in the last IPL, who reconciled with the child within (while pushing real kids out of the way) and screamed in glee as they whooshed down portable slides placed by the boundary - all in the name of entertainment. If the broadcasters cared about their employees' mental well-being, they would provide slides here in India too. But they clearly don't, which, in turn, explains rather a lot.
The old KKR
The tournament is less than a week old and Kolkata have won just one game fewer than they managed all of last season. Which righteous person can place a hand on his heart and make a genuine joke about them?
The tournament is less than a week old and Kolkata have won just one game fewer than they managed all of last season. Which righteous person can place a hand on his heart and make a genuine joke about them?
DLF Maximums and Citi Moments of Success
Sort of. Apparently our commentators have become subtle and won't be calling every six a DLF Maximum and every remotely important phase of play a Citi Moment of Success. Sources close to the commentators, on condition of anonymity, have told Cricinfo that the former cricketers don't want to be seen as shameless salesmen. So instead only every third six, on average, will be called a DLF Maximum, and only the real turning points will be called Citi Moments of Success. (By the way, I have subtly used the terms thrice each in one paragraph. Is anybody keeping score?)
Sort of. Apparently our commentators have become subtle and won't be calling every six a DLF Maximum and every remotely important phase of play a Citi Moment of Success. Sources close to the commentators, on condition of anonymity, have told Cricinfo that the former cricketers don't want to be seen as shameless salesmen. So instead only every third six, on average, will be called a DLF Maximum, and only the real turning points will be called Citi Moments of Success. (By the way, I have subtly used the terms thrice each in one paragraph. Is anybody keeping score?)
Sidharth Monga is a staff writer at Cricinfo