World Cricket Podcast January 9, 2010

What Test cricket needs is more draws

In the third instalment of his World Cricket Podcast, comedian Andy Zaltzman wonders whether it is logistically possible for Graeme Smith to play an elegant shot, dives into history to find one of the dullest Test series ever, lauds Pakistan cricket
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In the third instalment of his World Cricket Podcast, comedian Andy Zaltzman wonders whether it is logistically possible for Graeme Smith to play an elegant shot, dives into history to find one of the dullest Test series ever, lauds Pakistan cricket for imploding like the supernova that it is, and nearly manages to get an Australian guest on his show.

Read the transcript of the podcast here

Download the entire podcast here (mp3, right-click to save).

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Rana on November 10, 2012, 21:56 GMT

    Personally I think having a palticurar branch of religion associated with the state is pretty divisive, and archaic to boot.I find it deeply worrying that people whose main qualification is believing in an imaginary friend, should have any influence in the Lords as well.That long word,bring it on!

  • blogs.espncricinfo.com on May 9, 2011, 12:33 GMT

    What_test_cricket_needs_is_mor.. Awful :)

  • GD on January 13, 2010, 8:42 GMT

    Andy is definitely the most incisive and thoughtful cricket commentator around. If only the broadcasters would forget about Tony Greig, Richie Benaud, and Ian Chappell with all their feigned expertise, and pseudo-explanations for the bizarre cricket seen last week and call in a real expert like Andy Zaltzman.

    Seriously, that was the best piece of comedy I've heard in a while. I just wish the podcast feed worked properly.

  • Peter on January 11, 2010, 17:56 GMT

    LOL another funny piece. I was cracking up so badly when u said u would like to see eng draw another last wicket thriller and see smith chase up onions and eat him up. I personally would also love to see that also.

    My money is on smith to 'choke' when eating onions

    But the best was the divorcing wife.

  • Phil S. on January 11, 2010, 7:12 GMT

    It is grossly unfair to lampoon Ricky Ponting. He is a fantastic captain, winning 100% of tests whenever Australia play themselves. This is why its been a great summer. Both Pakistan and the Windies have a recent if proud history of playing themselves whenever it matters, only not as successfully as Ponting does it. Now, if he can only convince the English, Indians and Saffers to also play themselves, he may well rise to the exalted position that his captaincy so richly deserves.

  • Manas on January 11, 2010, 3:08 GMT

    Amazing podcast keep up the good work Andy!!!

  • MJ Coxx on January 11, 2010, 0:10 GMT

    Nice New Zealand/South African accent Andy. You might want to call Meryl Streep to get a few tips.

  • Matt on January 10, 2010, 3:56 GMT

    Excellent Australian accent. If you think Tony Greig sounds Australian, that is.

  • Sairam on January 10, 2010, 1:07 GMT

    Andy ,

    Brilliant. Hilarious. If you were ten years younger , i might've even said ROTFLMAO .. but alas.

    Your podcasts are the best ever !

  • Kunal on January 9, 2010, 23:22 GMT

    These podcasts are the rightly coloured prism through which to look at cricket. Keep it up Andy!

  • Rana on November 10, 2012, 21:56 GMT

    Personally I think having a palticurar branch of religion associated with the state is pretty divisive, and archaic to boot.I find it deeply worrying that people whose main qualification is believing in an imaginary friend, should have any influence in the Lords as well.That long word,bring it on!

  • blogs.espncricinfo.com on May 9, 2011, 12:33 GMT

    What_test_cricket_needs_is_mor.. Awful :)

  • GD on January 13, 2010, 8:42 GMT

    Andy is definitely the most incisive and thoughtful cricket commentator around. If only the broadcasters would forget about Tony Greig, Richie Benaud, and Ian Chappell with all their feigned expertise, and pseudo-explanations for the bizarre cricket seen last week and call in a real expert like Andy Zaltzman.

    Seriously, that was the best piece of comedy I've heard in a while. I just wish the podcast feed worked properly.

  • Peter on January 11, 2010, 17:56 GMT

    LOL another funny piece. I was cracking up so badly when u said u would like to see eng draw another last wicket thriller and see smith chase up onions and eat him up. I personally would also love to see that also.

    My money is on smith to 'choke' when eating onions

    But the best was the divorcing wife.

  • Phil S. on January 11, 2010, 7:12 GMT

    It is grossly unfair to lampoon Ricky Ponting. He is a fantastic captain, winning 100% of tests whenever Australia play themselves. This is why its been a great summer. Both Pakistan and the Windies have a recent if proud history of playing themselves whenever it matters, only not as successfully as Ponting does it. Now, if he can only convince the English, Indians and Saffers to also play themselves, he may well rise to the exalted position that his captaincy so richly deserves.

  • Manas on January 11, 2010, 3:08 GMT

    Amazing podcast keep up the good work Andy!!!

  • MJ Coxx on January 11, 2010, 0:10 GMT

    Nice New Zealand/South African accent Andy. You might want to call Meryl Streep to get a few tips.

  • Matt on January 10, 2010, 3:56 GMT

    Excellent Australian accent. If you think Tony Greig sounds Australian, that is.

  • Sairam on January 10, 2010, 1:07 GMT

    Andy ,

    Brilliant. Hilarious. If you were ten years younger , i might've even said ROTFLMAO .. but alas.

    Your podcasts are the best ever !

  • Kunal on January 9, 2010, 23:22 GMT

    These podcasts are the rightly coloured prism through which to look at cricket. Keep it up Andy!

  • steve on January 9, 2010, 22:32 GMT

    Justin Hamilton sounds an awful lot like Tony Greig. Classic.

  • Aravind R on January 9, 2010, 22:00 GMT

    you are HILARIOUS!!!! :-) not to mention a great deal of knowledge in cricket hidden behind those logs of fun puns!!

  • Andrew on January 9, 2010, 20:34 GMT

    Great stuff Andy - as always witty and insightful in unexpected ways. On another note - see pic of Bangladesh, Indian and Sri Lankan presidents "holding aloft" - to quote cricinfo - the World Cup - looks more like each was trying to wrench it away from the others :) keep it coming!

  • Andrew Koch on January 9, 2010, 20:34 GMT

    Great stuff Andy - as always witty and insightful in unexpected ways. On another note - see pic of Bangladesh, Indian and Sri Lankan presidents "holding aloft" - to quote cricinfo - the World Cup - looks more like each was trying to wrench it away from the others :) keep it coming!

  • Pc on January 9, 2010, 19:40 GMT

    Phenomenal piece... I listened to it five times... had a laughing fit every time with the fork-wielding Smith chasing Onions, and the SA accent... and the Aussie accent, spot-on also... Where are the cricketing gods? Andy ought to be knighted!

  • Turban is good on January 9, 2010, 18:53 GMT

    First of all two thumbs and two big toes (thumb equivalent) up! Superb podcast. Now, two questions Andy, that only you can answer:

    - Why were Pakistani players wearing baggy green? - More importantly, what is wrong with wearing a turban or Astrakhan in a cricket match?

  • Usman on January 9, 2010, 17:12 GMT

    Haha, loved the 50/50 chance of winning joke us Pakistani fans thought as aus were 60/8, more because it honestly was true.

  • J Rawcliffe on January 9, 2010, 14:17 GMT

    Brilliant as ever. Insane facts, lovely analogies and hilarious. More please! :D

  • Arvind on January 9, 2010, 14:00 GMT

    Hey Andy, why aren't you playing in the England Test team? Not fair. You are a far better comedian than any of the guys in their team. :)

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  • Arvind on January 9, 2010, 14:00 GMT

    Hey Andy, why aren't you playing in the England Test team? Not fair. You are a far better comedian than any of the guys in their team. :)

  • J Rawcliffe on January 9, 2010, 14:17 GMT

    Brilliant as ever. Insane facts, lovely analogies and hilarious. More please! :D

  • Usman on January 9, 2010, 17:12 GMT

    Haha, loved the 50/50 chance of winning joke us Pakistani fans thought as aus were 60/8, more because it honestly was true.

  • Turban is good on January 9, 2010, 18:53 GMT

    First of all two thumbs and two big toes (thumb equivalent) up! Superb podcast. Now, two questions Andy, that only you can answer:

    - Why were Pakistani players wearing baggy green? - More importantly, what is wrong with wearing a turban or Astrakhan in a cricket match?

  • Pc on January 9, 2010, 19:40 GMT

    Phenomenal piece... I listened to it five times... had a laughing fit every time with the fork-wielding Smith chasing Onions, and the SA accent... and the Aussie accent, spot-on also... Where are the cricketing gods? Andy ought to be knighted!

  • Andrew Koch on January 9, 2010, 20:34 GMT

    Great stuff Andy - as always witty and insightful in unexpected ways. On another note - see pic of Bangladesh, Indian and Sri Lankan presidents "holding aloft" - to quote cricinfo - the World Cup - looks more like each was trying to wrench it away from the others :) keep it coming!

  • Andrew on January 9, 2010, 20:34 GMT

    Great stuff Andy - as always witty and insightful in unexpected ways. On another note - see pic of Bangladesh, Indian and Sri Lankan presidents "holding aloft" - to quote cricinfo - the World Cup - looks more like each was trying to wrench it away from the others :) keep it coming!

  • Aravind R on January 9, 2010, 22:00 GMT

    you are HILARIOUS!!!! :-) not to mention a great deal of knowledge in cricket hidden behind those logs of fun puns!!

  • steve on January 9, 2010, 22:32 GMT

    Justin Hamilton sounds an awful lot like Tony Greig. Classic.

  • Kunal on January 9, 2010, 23:22 GMT

    These podcasts are the rightly coloured prism through which to look at cricket. Keep it up Andy!