'Watch my comments on the over rate tonight'
You might think that in all the high spirits and general bonhomie that come in the wake of an Ashes victory, we might get some good tweets from England cricketers. You'd be wrong. Turns out people only really use Twitter when they haven't got much going on in their lives.
Kevin Pietersen's tweet was fairly typical.
But I'd have to agree with Shaun Tait on this subject.
"Can people stop using #boom please."
Trent Copeland has already adapted.
At least one Aussie has been enjoying himself since the Ashes. Nathan Bracken's running for parliament.
Woo! Party time!
It's important to have understanding team-mates like Tim Bresnan when you suffer the disappointment of missing out on England selection.
The offer you can't refuse
Damien Martyn's got a cracking sales pitch.
Well, it is a highlights show.
Graeme Smith's been covering some ground.
A single step does not constitute a run, Graeme.
Simon Doull picked up a slight faux pas on the part of a fellow commentator.
Kraigg Brathwaite isn't afraid to confuse "to" with "too".
But what do you expect from a man with an extra "g" in his first name and an "i" missing from his surname.
The changing rooms
Graham Onions has an apology to make.
And that was the absolute best option, was it?
Life with Kemar Roach
Kemar has a message for us all.
"Always Follow Your Mind!"
But it seems that not everything gets through to it.
Surely that's something you'd definitely notice.
Maybe it's an epiphany or an earthquake or the apocalypse or something.
What's your philosophy?
Shaun Pollock might be running dry. This isn't up to his usual standards.
It's probably the difference between choosing to do something and having something inflicted upon you, Shaun. Come on, you can do better than this. Can't you give us something more like your usual stuff; something a little more, you know… trite.
That's more like it.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket