'Stuck in the hotel toilet for the last hour'
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Makeshift beds, broken teeth and a lack of clarity regarding the exact status of Mitchell Marsh's facial hair in this week's Twitter round-up.
You probably think you're getting to know Kemar Roach by now, but maybe you should shelve your preconceptions. He might yet have the capacity to surprise…
Or you could just retain your preconceptions until they are proven entirely accurate.
At least you've got a bit of time to practise.
Middlesex's Gurjit Sandhu describes himself in his Twitter bio as someone who can sleep for a long time. Apparently, he's also up for a challenge.
As in, it's no longer there, or it hasn't grown?
Has anyone got a problem with how Jade Dernbach feels about life?
It seems an odd thing to take issue with, but presumably someone has.
It's "ignorami". Also, "dumb ignoramus" probably counts as tautology.
Who says that the short nature of a tweet means that readers don't always get a clear idea of the situation that's being described?
Do teeth just break of their own volition sometimes? Are intact teeth more vital for quizzes than other activities? So many questions.
Life with Kemar Roach
So which is it to be, Kemar?
What's your philosophy?
And you thought Shaun Pollock had cornered the market when it came to trite positivity.
What are the sales of self-help books like in South Africa? Either they are very, very high or they are very, very low because the contents are no different from everyday conversation.
Somewhere in the world, there is always a cricketer complaining about jetlag.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket