January 9, 2013

My 2013 wishlist

More Tests, a better New Zealand, more power to Kallis, and Dravid for ICC chairman

That impoverished woodman of fairytale fame had three wishes at his disposal but cricket's needs are a good deal more pressing than a lump of black pudding. My most fervent ones for 2013 are that, in ascending order of urgency, we witness the following headlines:

Hail Mahela
It says a lot about Mahela Jayawardene's aversion to spotlights that the record most likely to be associated with him 50 years hence is half a record: 624, the loftiest Test stand. To spend one's career competing with Kallis, Dravid, Lara, Ponting and Tendulkar is unfortunate enough; the final reckoning, moreover, will probably also find him trailing (in substance if never style) Kumar Sangakkara, with whom he shared those finest hours. Equanimity, happily, has long been an asset, so it's hard to imagine his autobiography being a moan-athon - beyond, of course, that double-barrelled shotgun of a chapter on the shortcomings and shameful goings of Sri Lankan administrators. With proven class exiting left, right and centre, cherish him while you can.

Fiery Hadlee in blazer blaze
If New Zealand are shaping up as the new West Indies (circa 2004 rather than 1984), the lack of wider concern is alarming. In their last 15 Tests against non-Zimbabwean opponents, stretching back to November 2010, they've scaled 300 four times in the first innings, and not unpredictably, won just twice - albeit mightily so, in Colombo and Hobart. One of these days, when the failed All Black wannabes who run the game there tire of mucking their best player about and Sir Richard Hadlee torches his 1986 England tour mementoes, we may yet see how good Trent Boult and Doug Bracewell really are. Still, let's not judge them too harshly if they reverse the trend and head for the Cape.

Jacques gets more laddish
Pete Townshend once hoped he'd die before he got old, then spent the next five decades wishing he hadn't and striving to prove he shouldn't. "It's better to burn out than fade away," advocated Neil Young, but the ornery old bustard still refuses to do either. In sport, fading away is natural, normal, inevitable, though nobody, plainly, told Jacques Kallis.

While rivals and contemporaries withered, shrank and retreated into retirement, the pride of Pinelands has not only kept a tight grip on his mojo but added new gizmos. In his autumnal splendour he's as effective over 20 overs as 450. Reverse sweep on the first day of a Test? Meet Jacques the Very Laddy. Maybe he's bent on compensating for the grisly exit suffered by his best pal, Mark Boucher? At the risk of sounding ungratefully greedy, please grant us another year at least, o taciturn maestro, if only to keep greatness within our sight and grasp.

DJ Sammy: Champion remixer
It may be some time before the five-day throne accommodates Caribbean bums again but that revival in the shorter formats has been distinctly heartening. Underrated with the ball, hit-and-miss with the bat, Darren Sammy probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a Test XI, but where would any contemporary West Indies combo be without that patience, that smile, and yes, that mother hen-ish clucking?

Given that Marlon Samuels has re-blotted his copybook and reverting to Chris Gayle is probably still too big a shift in the reintegration game, the West Indies selectors appear to have no choice but to persist with the Brearley Plan: ten good men under the right coaxer is better than 11 rudderless good men. Few will bid the Champions Trophy a tearful farewell, but winning it would keep such an unfashionably long-term strategy nicely in the groove.

Wasim and Waqar 2.0
I can't recall the last time anticipation exerted its exquisite hold quite as relentlessly as it did in the half-hour before India's chase against Pakistan in Kolkata. This was partly down to the pressing need for a reason, any reason, to be cheerful. The first half of the week, after all, had brought nothing but gloom. First Tony Greig died, then Christopher Martin-Jenkins: the game's foremost salesman and conscience-in-chief, both gone with joltingly premature suddenness. Then New Zealand did what had long seemed inevitable, mistaking a Test for a T20.

Mostly, though, that feverish state was attributable to the impending return bout between India's openers and Pakistan's new-ballers. In Chennai the southpaws had battered timber early and often. Mohammad Irfan might look as if he got lost en route to signing for the LA Lakers but packs a mean yorker and an even meaner bouncer. A year ago, Junaid Khan looked decidedly handy; however much the opposition's suspect footwork sharpened his threat, the way he whipped out the Indian cream, moving the ball both ways at pace, through the air, off the pitch but consistently on the mark, did nothing whatsoever to curb this unbridled enthusiast. In the (extremely) blue corner stood two classy old hands in search of form and self. Gautam Gambhir had been defiant rather than assured; Virender Sehwag had brought to mind a tiger fresh out of root-canal surgery: pissed off but powerless to stem the pain with an act of gratuitous savagery.

What ensued was a page-turner as well as an honourable draw. Luckless at first, Junaid achieved the key thrusts, unseating Gambhir after a steady start then hypnotising Virat Kohli into glancing a wide. Sehwag, though, kept both quicks at bay, venturing perilously yet encouragingly close to head-down, no-nonsense sobriety. Call it a minor triumph over nature: he knows he can't just click his fingers anymore.

In the end, Pakistan romped home, and can now look forward with realistic optimism to the Big One: three Tests in South Africa. Reinforced, one assumes, by Nasir Jamshed, those disciplined bats could unsettle the three horsemen of the apocalypse, Dale, Morne and Vernon, but the blooding of Faf du Plessis has made the hosts' top six the most formidable around. Not even Saeed Ajmal will be as crucial to the hitherto weedy challenge to Protean domination as Wasim and Waqar 2.0.

ACSU fixes it for umpires
This may sound terribly naïve, but when I heard it I couldn't believe it. In its apparently ceaseless efforts to combat match-, spot- and any other sort of fixing yet to be dishonoured with an official brand name, those purportedly commonsensical chaps known collectively as the Anti-Corruption and Security Unit do not routinely consult those closest to the action - the umpires.

Granted, six of the less reputable ones, assigned to World Twenty20 warm-ups, were suspended last October following a TV sting, arguably justifying such an oversight. But is it an oversight? Maybe the ICC and the ACSU sincerely believe the players are too well-versed in the dark and ancient arts of buttering up, suckering and playing umpires for fools, which, not unnaturally, devalues the latter's word.

The best things about the DRS are a) it exists, b) many more nations assent to it than don't, and c) the colossal number of decisions it suggests were bang on the money leads one to conclude, not unreasonably, that those who make them are on the straight and narrow. As the ultimate arbiters of fair play and foul, isn't it time they were equipped with a whistle (of the strictly figurative kind, natch)?

Dravid to sort out ICC philistines
The madness must stop. No, I'm not referring exclusively to the game's divided and ineffectual governance (a Lord took that one on and look what happened to his proposals) but, with marginally less despair, to that brazen thief of quality - the Future Tours Programme. The two chinks of light are the massive decline in ODIs (albeit counter-balanced by an even bigger rise in T20s) and next year's appointment of the inaugural ICC chairman. Time, surely, for someone completely different, someone who can see it from the perspective of both player and nurturer. And while we're dreaming, let's entrust what remains of our faith to someone respected from Wellington to Wellingborough and grant them the sort of dictatorial rights Lord MacLaurin enjoyed in his mixed if largely successful bid to bang English heads together.

Sangakkara will be perfect once he hangs up his jockstrap but the burden that will inevitably take up residence on the shoulders of the initial appointee should be left to someone accustomed to bearing heavy loads uncomplainingly, i.e. Rahul Dravid. We know he's a sensible fellow. We know how passionately he feels. So long as he's his own man as much as we think he is, it may not be too fanciful to believe he can get everyone rowing in the same direction as well as the right one.

As to specifics, he might care to consider the following a campaign donation: four-week IPL uninterrupted by internationals; nine-year home-and-away tour cycle punctuated by a mid-term, month-long World Test Championship knockout featuring the top eight countries, all games played to a finish; minimum of one home/"home" and one away Test series per Full Member per year; at least three Tests but no more than three ODIs and three T20s per tour; Test nations take turns to tour the leading associates, culminating in a four-day first-class match; broadcasters told to like it or lump it.

As Mickey Rourke's Boogie mused in Diner: "If you don't have good dreams, you got nightmares."

Rob Steen is a sportswriter and senior lecturer in sports journalism at the University of Brighton

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Tim on January 10, 2013, 12:39 GMT

    Nice article Rob. Interesting propostion regarding the Tests programme although I don't think I could wait 9 years for another visit from a team. Broadcasters should definitely tow the line, we all know they bring money into the game, but too often the tail wags the dog.

    Very much looking forward to Pakistan's tour later this year, they certainly have the x factor. We should have too much firepower but it will be interesting how the favourites tag sits with the Proteas. I'm going to do a Glenn McGrath and say 3-0 to SA!

    It's my hope that JK will keep going until he is 40, held together by magic band aids and blue tack. Please let me dream!

  • Dummy4 on January 10, 2013, 12:32 GMT

    If there's only one GENTLEMAN who played the game of cricket, it must be Rahul Dravid. The ICC on the contrary carries too many administrative baggages. Hence, there is a serious reputation-incompatability chasam between the two. So, while it would be great to have a man of such distinguished character at the helm of such an important international sporting organisation, the mere fact that the ICC is not willing to to do any administrative introspection of itself to improve its image, and because Mr Dravid is not the bullying and dictatorial type to do whatever is necessary to ensure necessary change, I would not like to see him at the helm of that organisation, less he's doomed to bismirch his flawless reputation. Because, the first thing that the entire world would be calling on him to do, is to see to it that India and the Indian team are made to subject themselves to all the rules of the ICC, just as the other teams are COMPELLED to do, while the Idians are let off - What a task!

  • Dummy4 on January 10, 2013, 6:00 GMT

    Pak test team: Nasir, Hafeez, Azhar Ali, Asad Shafiq, Younis, Misbah, Adnan Akmal, Umar Gul, Junaid Khan, Saeed Ajmal, Irfan Khan (reserves: Abdur Rahman, Anwar Ali)

  • Dummy4 on January 10, 2013, 0:33 GMT

    Awesome article Bobbie! No non-sense, to the point, and good points they are. I think that Pakistan is an emerging great in the test arena and will become SA's number one rival over the next few years.

  • Terry on January 9, 2013, 23:12 GMT

    "nine-year home-and-away tour cycle punctuated by a mid-term" Are you kidding me? It should be two year home-and-away tour cycle with a Test World Cup every four years. It should be two divisions of six tests countries playing four tests (two home & two away) against each team, meaning 20 tests in 24 months. Since you can play four tests home & away (including warm ups against assocs) easily within six weeks and ODI & T20s can be scheduled into gaps, then a quick, two year test championship cycle can occur. Image current SA, Aust & Eng teams playing eight tests (four home & four away) against the other two with the team that wins the most of them becoming number one in the world. And lets not forget former number one India or competitors Srilanka or Pakistan, all teams that could fight with the top teams to move out of the danger spot of number six team, whom would get replaced every two years by WI or NZ. And there is always the chance in Tier 2 of Bang, Zimb or two assocs doing well.

  • Dummy4 on January 9, 2013, 22:30 GMT

    Pakistan series will be close. South Africa can look vulnerable at times, and Pakistan will be unpredictable, but remarkably good considering the political situation in their country, and their cricket. Nice post about Jacque Kallis being close to the record for most sixes. He's also pretty close to 300 wickets, but I can't see him getting there in the Pakistan series. Maybe when he has 13000 runs, 300 wickets and 200 catches people will start realising how unbelievable he is.

  • Imran on January 9, 2013, 21:23 GMT

    My Test team for Pakistan tour of SA: (1) Hafeez (2) Nasir Jamshed/Taufeeq umer (3) Azhar Ali (4) Younas Khan (5) Misbah (6) Asad Shafeeq/Haris Sohail (7) Kamran/ Adnan Akmal (8) Ajmal (9) Junaid (10) Irfan (11) Ehsan adil/Abdur rehman (12- Anwar Ali 13- Wahan Riaz)

  • Dummy4 on January 9, 2013, 19:24 GMT

    Excellent article. Scores on style ,substance and direction.As for DRAVID, he would be an apt choice because he would bring character and integrity , to the job, traits which are a must for ,what would be a stormy voyage through muddled waters.You'll do well to check with Michael Slater ,beforehand,though.

  • Dummy4 on January 9, 2013, 19:04 GMT

    this is my wishlist for 2013 and forever about who should run the icc. dravid and kumble from india, mark taylor and shane warne of australia, mahela and sanga from s.l., darren ganga and dinanath ramnarine of w.i., mike atherton and andy strauss from eng. and gary kirsten from saf. this is my eleven with sanjay manjrekar 12th man to run world cricket. brilliant minds, honest personalities, selfless and the whole nine yards. i know guys this is more of wishful thinking than a wishlist lol.

  • Dummy4 on January 9, 2013, 18:45 GMT

    Iam sure Pakistan will give hard time to South africa in Up coming test series I expect Junaid khan and Irfan to stand up And Saeed ajmal always done good job for us