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Stuart and Ash

BC Lara not out 400

Our intrepid commentary duo were in St John's when the record for the individual score in Test cricket was broken

Alex Bowden

Comments: 19 | Text size: A | A
Brian Lara after leaves the field reclaiming the world record
Lara's 400 was a better innings than Ridley Jacobs' hundred, but there wasn't much in it © Getty Images
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Stuart: Lara sweeps and there it is - 400. Have you got some statistics for us, Gordon? When was the last time someone scored 400 in a Test match?

(Muffled speech in the background)

Stuart: No, I meant an individual. It's not so unusual for a team to score 400.

(More muffled speech )

Stuart: No, Gordon, there isn't a batsman called Australia. I'm quite certain of that. That's a team of 11 players representing the nation of Australia.

(Muffled speech )

Stuart: Really? No one's ever done it before? Are you sure? What did Boycott get against New Zealand in Wellington in '78?

(Muffled speech )

Stuart: Caught off Collinge for 77? Oh… I thought it was much more than that. It seemed much more than that. So no one's ever made 400 until now. How bizarre. What are the chances?

Ash: Yeah, first time, Stu, but not an innings that'll live long in the memory.

Stuart: Really? You don't think?

Ash: It was a solid effort, but look at the strike rate. He was barely scoring at four an over.

Stuart: I think that's quite quick scoring. Gordon, could you give us the average strike rate for Test cricket?

Ash: He's only hit four Global Banking Incorporated Sixers in his entire innings - one per hundred.

Stuart: It's not all about sixes, Ash.

Ash: Tell that to Ridley Jacobs. He's hit three sixers in an innings of 107.

Stuart: Are you saying that Jacobs' is the better innings?

Ash: Pound for pound, the keeper's played the better knock here, Stu.

Stuart: That's preposterous. Besides, you pointed to Lara's strike rate. Lara's scored his runs at a faster rate than Jacobs, so even on that basis, his is the better innings.

Ash: But how many sixers has he hit?

Stuart: Four.

Ash: And how many has Jacobs hit?

Stuart: Three.

Ash: Okay, I'll give you that. Lara's innings is one better than Jacobs, but it's still nothing to write home about.

Stuart: You can't measure an innings in sixes, Ash.

Ash: A sixer is a unit of measurement.

Stuart: No, a run is a unit of measurement. A six is - well - it's six units.

Ash: So one sixer is worth six?

Stuart: Of course.

Ash: So it's more important than a run, then.

Stuart: I guess you could say it's six times as important.

Ash: Exactly. I couldn't have put it better myself. The game's all about sixers, Stu. That's what gets the fans in.

(Muffled speech )

Stuart: No Gordon, that's not what strike rate is. When a batsman doesn't come to the crease, it's rarely as a result of industrial action.

Ash: Worst quadruple-hundred I've ever seen in a Test match.

Stuart: Okay, it's been a long, hot day and we're all a bit grumpy. Why don't we celebrate Lara's achievement - no matter how significant it proves to be - with a nice slice of battenburg? How does that sound?

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket.
All quotes and "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?

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Comments: 19 
Posted by   on (October 31, 2011, 18:32 GMT)

i life we all have to agree in order to disagree and we all have to respect eachothers openion.i'v look at BRIANS KNOCK OF 400*,BUT IT WAS'NT THE MOST ATTRACTIVE INNING IN TEST CRICKET."BUT IT WAS THE MOST MENTALLY COMPOSED INNING THAT TEST CRICKET HAVE EVER SEEN"BRIAN HAS PLAYED SOME MAGESTIC INNING BEFORE THAT...277,153,213,179..AND MUCH,MUCH MORE.... "BUT"..BRIAN CHARLES LARA IS THE BEST BATSMAN THAT THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF CRICKET HAVE EVER SEEN.....HE IS IN A CLASS FOR HIM SELF.. THANK YOU!

Posted by Steggz on (October 30, 2011, 11:57 GMT)

Gotta love it when people miss the point of something... I thought it was funny. (Then again, I have been accused of having a pretty sad sense of humour, so I might not be the best to ask)

Posted by   on (October 30, 2011, 10:54 GMT)

@gazelle - agreed its Page 2 article. But it is neither insightful nor humorous... Had it been really fun or humor take on Lara, I'd have loved it...

Posted by KabaabRoll on (October 29, 2011, 1:01 GMT)

Yawn...........................

Posted by addiemanav on (October 28, 2011, 14:09 GMT)

So some ppl want to say that lara's 400 is the best test inngs ever??haha!!absolute joke!!Tim southee's debut knock of 77 was the greatest!!he hit 9 sixes against eng, so had an average of 1 sixer every 8.5 runs..plus a strike rate of almost 200!!surpasses lara's knock by a light year!!

Posted by   on (October 28, 2011, 13:30 GMT)

Finally a good attempt on Lara.

Posted by Full-Blooded-Wallop on (October 28, 2011, 12:20 GMT)

Love you all who have commented, i loled at the article and rofloled at the comments being posted here :P

Posted by Shailendra_Malik on (October 28, 2011, 11:48 GMT)

I am sorry Alex... after reading the comments below... I really feel for you .... when will people appreciate the art... your comic sense ir non-sense for them... But I must say it was an amazing piece....

Posted by daalien on (October 28, 2011, 11:24 GMT)

Hey guys, chill out. This is just a Page 2 article, no need to get so persnickety about it. If you guys can't tell a joke on the comms from criticism of Lara's fantastic 400, you really need to get a life.....

Posted by geawan on (October 28, 2011, 10:44 GMT)

Extremely poor attempt at humour.

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